𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄. * COMPLETED *

𝐗𝐗𝐕

DEJAH

"What do you guys think?"

My jaws dropped in awe. "I love it." Italy looked around and started walking to the bar section. Lindsay, Italy, and I was here with Mrs.Mason to see where the wedding reception was being held. "I definitely love it. The details are everything." I examined the lights from the floor and the mini stage where the bride and groom's chairs were going to be. "I can just see it now. The colors will match the room and the ceiling lights." I told Lindsay and she agreed.

Mrs.Mason went to talk to the service people in the back. "I really can't believe my mom is getting married. The wedding is really five days away." She sighed and Italy joined us at a table.

"Don't worry Linds. Your mom is in good hands. She'll forever be okay." I nodded. "I know. He loves my mom so much. She is genuinely happy and I've never seen her like that in years." Linds explained.

"I'm so happy for her." Italy said and I nodded. Mrs.Mason had been through so much drama with Lindsay's dad and it was finally time for her to be a man that would support her physically and mentally. And definitely financially. Heavy on the financially!

There was curtains everywhere in the room that went all the way from the ceiling to the floor. It looked so gracious and the lights hid behind the curtains making them have different colors such as green, pink, blue, and purple. You could also change the color depending on the theme. The seats were gold and some white ribbons where tied around. Of course there wasn't anything too serious because it wasn't being decorated yet.

"What's the color theme?" Italy asked as she looked behind a curtain. "It's a pale pink beige with white." Lindsay responded. "I have to schedule my hair and lash appointment this week." I pulled out my phone and went on Instagram. People were still blowing my DM's up. Most likely asking questions or saying rude comments. I honestly didn't let it phase me. I never did. I barely even posted so I didn't give a fuck.

I recorded a little sneak peak of the banquet hall and posted it on my story. I reloaded and saw that twenty seconds Kentrell had already seen my story. Hell nah.

Instantly my stomach started to churn and I felt as if I wanted to puke. "I still haven't made my decision." I blurted out. "What?" Lindsay raised her eyebrow. "I still haven't made my decision." I repeated. Italy's nosey ass came closer to our table.
"About what? Kentrell?"

"What about Kentrell?" Italy's eyes widened. "Girl mind your business." I snapped. Italy knew that Kentrell and I used to talk and we broke up but she didn't need to know anything else. That girl would go crazy and post all about it on her spam.

"Is this about the other nigh—" "Yes. What should I do? Or say? To him?" I put my hair in a ponytail. "Tell him yes? The hell." Italy rolled her eyes as if it was the easiest response for her. "It's not that simple." I shook my head.

"I personally feel like you should not focus on him right now. Wait until after the wedding or talk to him today  and tell him how you feel and if you wanna be with him or not." Lindsay gave in her perspective and I thought for a second.

I mean the wedding was only five days away and I needed to get ready and choose my outfit, nails, hair, lashes and brows done. "Period." Italy snapped. I should most likely tell him today.

"The real question is..." "Do you even want him forreal or not?" She blurted out and I shrugged.

"I want him. I can't say that I don't. But this part of me is just saying to move on."

"Girl bye. At the end of the day, y'all both just had a big misunderstanding. It wasn't like he cheated or something. AND Dejah, you said you enjoyed spending time with him and y'all going out. So what is even making you THINK about what decision you should make?" Lindsay gave me a look and I shrugged.

"I miss all of those things but after that girl came over I just didn't ever wanna talk to him again nor did I want to look back." I shook my head. "Follow your heart, not your mind. Whatever it says then that's the decision you take." Italy placed her hand on my shoulder.

The little girl was actually right for the first time. I needed to follow my heart. Lately all I did was overthink. What did my heart say?

Fuck it. I wanted to get everything over with and off my mind.

"What do you want to eat?" I said to Italy as I backed out of the parking spot. I was going to drop her off at my place and then go straight to Kentrell's crib. He was home because I talked to KD earlier this morning.

"Seafood Boil." She said in a soft tone as she gave me a look. "Girl—who gone make it?" "Us. I could boil the water and make the sauce. You gone have to dice the onions tho I can't handle shit like that." She shook her head. "I'm not going straight home I'm gone drop you off and then go somewhere. You can already start by boiling the water." I suggested and she nodded.

We bought food ingredients from the store and I dropped Italy off at home. On the way to Kentrell's I was literally shaking. My hands kept shaking on the wheel. I finally made my decision and I didn't know how he would feel or think.

By the time I got to the house the front gate was already open. Kentrell's hellcat was inside and so was the Rolls-Royce. And the Bentley. And the McLaren. All these damn cars.

I parked on the side and got out of the car. Once I knocked on the door I finally realized that all this was real. This wasn't a dream. The door opened causing me to get out of my thoughts.

Kentrell seemed to be talking to someone and when he saw me his face expression seemed confused but then he gave a tiny smile. "Hey, De-Dejah." He stuttered and leaned on the door. "Hi. Um, can we talk?" I put my hands in my pocket. "Fasho." He nodded and opened the door wider so that I could walk in.

"You wanna go upstairs or...?" He titled his head. I couldn't even look him in the eyes. He still did something to me.

"Nah. We can stay down here." I shook my head and sat on the couch. Kentrell did the same and sat across from me. "What's wrong? You—"
"How's everything?" I blurted out. I wasn't ready to tell him. "Everything is fine. Could be better." He shrugged and played with his lighter. "Why you say that?"

"I don't got y—. I be busy and tired sometimes. That's all." He started to say something but changed his sentence. "Oh damn."

There was an awkward silence between us. "Kentrell. I can't hide it anymore. I have to tell you." I sat up. I just wanted to get this over with. He instantly did the same and shifted closer to me. "Yes?"

"I just can't. I can't do this again. I'm so sorry." I shook my head. I didn't want to see his face expression. "Why-why not? I was so happy cus I th—"

"I don't know! I'm just not ready." I grabbed my crossbody and made my way to the door. Kentrell followed me and grabbed on my elbow. "You serious right now?" He seemed upset. I mean why wouldn't he? I just ruined everything.

"I'm sorry—I-" I got out of the house and ran to my car. I quickly unlocked the door and backed out of the driveway and gate. When I got out I stopped the car before tearing up.

I hated being like this.

to be continued ... 💘.