We head down South St. on our way to Target. Beckett is trying to make a list but seems too distracted to push slick pen on the paper and glide the blue ink across.
"Here, I'll do it.", I say and he happily hands me a notepad and the appealing blue pen. I am still pissed at him, but I couldn't stand watching him being so pathetic. I don't understand why he is so nervous. I have an Idea but I am too angry to feel any other emotion.
I pity him over and over in my head. How pathetic? He shows himself at my door for Mud Pies? I pitied how bad he must have missed me and feel a wash of bittersweet air.
We arrive at Target as soon as I finish our shopping list. I think about asking him to buy, but he couldn't even make a list so I trot in the store on my own with his credit card.
Mud Pie shopping list
1. Toilet paper
2. Wax strips
3. Butter spray or Pam
4. Razor
5. Shaving Cream
6.Shopping cart (take after paying)
7. Black clothing
8. Pink girly clothing
9. Crowbar
I am bothered that the list is odd. Stupid OCD.
10. Candy bar for yoself
I walk to the toiletries isle and search for the toilet paper. I look at all the brands and think to myself. Which should I get... Off brand or the soft plush stuff?...
I suck in and reach for the off brand. Maybe Mr. Chuck Fillens will be disappointed and say that we should of at least gotten Charmin, since he is so spoiled.
I move on and try to get the thoughts of Beckett out of my head. Why is he making me do this with him? We haven't talked in the longest time because of his stupid girlfriend. Or the real question is, why am I doing this? I confused myself when the word yes slipped out of my mouth when he asked me to help. I wasn't expecting it;my body took over.
I walk to where the wax strips are and pick up a box called Veet and hope for the best.
I walk all the way to the other side of the store before I realize the razors are right next to the stupid Veet. Am I just as distracted as Beckett? Is he the one who is pitying me?
I am at the razor blades and see there is a protective casing over them. The cashier lady will have fun with that.
I finally finish my shopping list after searching 20 minutes for a Crowbar.
I inspect the Cashier as she checks my items. She has a permanent frown sprawled on her face. Considering how old she looks, I should have expected it. Her wrinkled skin showed either old age, or long years filled with stress. She was the kind of old lady where you couldn't tell. I searched for her name tag and it read Sal.
"26.98", she says through a smokers voice. Definitely long years of stress. I hand her Becketts' credit card with a smile on my face. She checks it suspiciously.,"Your name is Beckett?"
"Yes ma'am. My parents were in a rock band when they had me. They died in a car crash last June.", I lie on the spot. My parents didn't actually die. I just added that so she would be too pitiful to be any more suspicious. I look down at my shoes and sniff to make it look like I spoke the truth.
I walk outside where Beckett is nowhere to be found. Great… He ditched me. I walk around the building and around twice, just to see if he was just wandering. Nope, no where to be found.
I walk toward my neighborhood and decide to walk by his house, which is about a block and two houses away, to see if his lights are on. I hear police sirens and run without thinking.
I approach his house that glows with the blue and red of three police cars and an ambulance.
Shit… What now?
I try to inspect what is going on but the party is all inside his house. I run home, eager to get away from the neighbors on the street trying to see what was going on. It’s 12 am. Go to sleep and leave them alone.
I sneak through the downstairs glass door that I left open for my convenience earlier. I leave the Target bags against the tan paneling. I tiptoe to my bedroom and see the the light is on through the crack underneath the door. I am hoping that I accidentally left it on, not my parents. I brace myself and take a deep breath before I open my teal bedrooms door.
“I wonder if Beckett is safe. You would probably know, you were with him right?”, my mom says. I cringe at the sound of her voice. Here comes another pathetic lecture that won’t change my actions at all.
“I went over to his house when I heard the sirens. I was worried and wanted to see if he was okay. I am sorry for not asking. I was panicked.”, I say, trying to cover up or mischievous plans.
“Or were you doing… Oh, what’s the new word you call it? Mud pies?”, Damn. She figured out our code word for pranks on our enemies. I like the name though, it’s never going to change ever again. That’s what I said with Rockets, Toothpaste, Trees, and Muppets though.
“No mom. We aren’t even close enough anymore. Anyways, I am done with that. I am more focused on school and my job at Panera now.”
“Then why were you out, venturing his house?”
“I told you, I was worried. I still care for him even if he’s not my friend.”
“You care about him… Even after, what’s her face, Chelsea?”
“Mom.”
“Fine. But you are grounded for the next week. No going out and hanging with your friends. I will check your room every night this week at different times so I know you are there.”
“Mom.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Mother.”
“That’s not what I meant.”, she sighs.
“Rachel.”
“Goodnight, Lacey.”
I whine the word Mom again as she closes my door. I walk over to where she was sitting. I sit down in the blue desk chair that is still warm from her presence. I smell her perfume.
Why does she have to ground me? I am glad that I don’t have to go out and be bugged by Beckett anymore. I am mad that he left, even if it was an emergency, he could have told me he was leaving. Then again, I am sad that I can’t go out. I secretly miss him.
“Mommm…”, I whisper.
