Down South(incomplete) gxg 18+ (girlxgirl)

Chapter Five: Love and War

Ro POV

Life has been changing so much and so fast since Tracey and I've started college. It's been only 5 months but it's felt like 5 years. It's now February and we're officially in the 60s. I'm dating Daniel Wilson and Tracey is in some odd "relationship" with Nina. I say odd because Tracey has told me all they do is just have sex. Oddly with me it's the other way around even though Daniel and I have been dating for about 3 months, we still haven't had sex. It's not like he hasn't tried in the past or we're a virgins or something.

It's not even that I don't want to or that I'm not sexually attracted to him. It's really because I can't bring myself to do something so intimate with him while I'm still pushing aside my feelings for Tracey. Now being that it has been 3 months and cause we each have our needs we haven't been completely innocent. But a man is not gonna survive off oral and hand jobs for the rest of his life. And I'm definitely not gonna do it either. I've been ok with giving and receiving both because it doesn't require me to stare into his eyes.

How am I supposed to look him in his eyes and not show that I'm possibly mentally elsewhere. I don't have to look at him when his head is in between my legs and I look away while his hand is down there. Another thing that hasn't happened is neither of us has said the 3 words. Once again it's not that I don't feel it but it's actually cause I do feel it but just not for him alone. Now I've realized it's possible to love more than one person at the same time.

But not everyone agrees with that assertion. Daniel has made it clear he's one of those people. He's old fashioned in most ways. Which is why me giving him the old "waiting til marriage" vibe is working out. I will admit I've always found it really weird how you can say that and still do those other things we do. But, whatever. Daniel doesn't really second guess it. So it works and in return I'm happy. Well I guess surviving is a better word.

I'm never really happy. I said before that I believe I love 2 people and I truly honest to god believe I do. It's just that I don't believe I'm in a relationship with the person I'm supposed to be "in love" with. That's part of the reason I haven't told him that yet. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. Maybe it's settling, maybe it's me hoping it still will grow into more. Either way I know 100 percent. I more than just love Tracey and the more time passes the more and more I'm convinced.

I can barely be around her alone anymore. Whether it's because I can't stop falling into a daze when I just listen to her talk. Or if it's because I can't stop staring at her beautiful smile. She has told me just about everything of what it's like to be with a woman. Now I can't stop thinking of how bad I want her to kiss me and do even more. I know Tracey told me because she was just telling her best friend things. I did the same with her. She's excited she's free to be herself.

Difference is I know for sure it didn't turn her on. But she has no idea how much it turns me on. I don't like Nina at all, but I have a love/hate relationship with hearing Tracey's stories of them being together. Hence why I know my mind could possibly be elsewhere with Daniel. I already a lot of times imagine it's her in between my legs tasting me and pleasing me. That's how I'll end up having an orgasm a lot of times. I've just had the wherewithal to not call anybody's name or remain silent. But I have come close to moaning her name a few times.

But today I'm not in a room with just her. It's worse, I'm in a room with Daniel and Tracey together. Granted, it's not just the 3 of us(fortunately). Nina is here (unfortunately) with 2 of her friends and Daniel's good friend Davis. We are all here because to her credit Nina came up with the idea of us joining a sit in at a local diner named Woolsworth's.

It all started on the first of the month when four guys Davis and Daniel go to school with: Joe, Frank, David and Ezell started a sit in after the people there wouldn't serve them. Nina said we should plan to join in in a few days. That's when they've scheduled a massive sit in and protest. We're going to be in the diner. That was 2 days ago. Honestly, I'm freaking out because I'm praying that things won't escalate to the point they kill us. Right now we're going over possible scenarios and actually getting treated the way we've heard others have been treated.