𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 - 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵

01

How could she, Deena, feel so alive by being so close to death?

How could she feel so real while closing her eyes and crossing the street dotted with cars and trucks?

Deena was on the sidewalk and in front of her was the street. The street that separated Shadyside and Sunnyvale. At the other end of the street, passing all the cars, was woodland.

Deena loved how the vehicles leaving Shadyside never slowed down, and the cars entering never really stayed for long. It was like one long, endless loop that you can't ever escape, now matter how fucking hard you wanted it.

And Deena really, really wanted it. To leave. To Escape.

--

But she had her friends Simon and Kate. As much as living in Shadyside was unbearable, her friends made the days a little better. And she couldn't imagine leaving without them.

Deena has never talked about her sexuality with them, at least not directly. She likes to keep her feelings hidden, but sucks at doing so, making it not much of a surprise to her friends that Deena likes Sam Fraser.

--

Deena slumped in the crappy plastic chairs Simon stole from the back of the grocery store. They had their special little spot, in the clearing of the woods, separated from the loud blares of truck horns.

Kate and Simon sat around next to her, in their own chairs, already in a heated argument.

"How many shots equal a beer?" Simon asks, staring right at me, ripping me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I ask, massaging my temple.

"How many shots equal a beer?" Simon repeats while Kate has her arms crossed over her chest, an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"4?" I answer with a questioning tone as Simon and Kate go back to disagreeing.

I stare off into space, drawn back into my thoughts.

My horrible, never ending thoughts. My thoughts won't leave until I've officially lost hope. Hope that I can still leave Shadyside. Hope that I won't eat, sleep, and die here. Here. This horrible town with a horrible highschool and more horrible people.

Like I was trapped inside a twisted metal cage, the lock on the outside, unreachable.

And I wanted so badly to get the key, to even be able to reach the lock.

But I couldn't. I was stuck.