A Man In Search Of Glorious Purpose: Book One

Chapter Four:

Finally reaching the lake of Asgard, it was one of the known lakes that Thor knew about, "it still amazes me Brother how your more the outdoorsman than me?, in yet the only time you've ever been outdoors is within the Palace gardens" Thor looked out at the lake, and heaved himself off his horse." the palace isn't considered my only place, of servitude and I think Brother you have it the other way around, the only place 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 ever been around is the Palace Gardens and orchard" I paused as I dismounted my horse " ehheheh?- I beg your pardon?, Brother 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 the one who's mostly in the orchard, I only follow, if I'm curious" I corrected him. "ah yes but who's after the apples first?" He tended to make mock of me, in light of all that has happened. 

I laughed "you expect me to eat them all before you can get to them?" Thor let out a robust laugh, while, giving my back a pat "like you go after the  Frystkake at the Fall harvest?" Thor laughed more "do not!?" I protested. we both looked at each other lightly laughing, we walked over to a tree stump and sat down as the morning air, tussled through our hair. "You think we'll still be this close in the future Brother?" I asked, Thor got back up and found some twigs to make a small fire to reheat our breakfast rations, he looked up at me. 

"I hope so?, we both have had quite the childhood" He began, as he found two stones and clicked them together to make a spark, "so it would seem.." I replied turning away, "why do you say that downhearted?" He got up and looked at me. "Lets be real here Brother, you'll be entitled to sitting atop the throne of valaskjalf Palace, but where does that put me exactly?" I asked "why are you so concerned about knowing your place Brother?" He asked, as he placed some of the food rations on a stone slab and placed it over the now lit fire. I didn't want confrontation, not today, not on such a beautiful morning

"I can't tell you?.." was all I could say, "why not?, it's just us out here?, it's not like I'd go racing back home to tell Father?" I let out a sigh continuing to not make slight eye contact with Thor on the subject. "Truthfully Brother, I feel like I don't belong, like my destiny lies elsewhere" His cheerful expression waned, "what do you mean?, your my Brother, we grew up together, of course you belong with me, our parents" I glanced at him "your family, 𝘖𝘶𝘳 family?- are you telling me it's not enough?' He asked starting to sound confused. 

I knew this would go in this direction, "it's not, that- when will I have the opportunity  for a Throne?- to 𝐵𝑒 someone or something?" Thor looked even more confused " what are you talking about Brother, your a Crown Prince by Birthright". Here it comes, the jealousy that has settled within me.

"It's not the Birthright I wanted!?, I wanted more than to be named Crown Prince, I wanted what your destine for!- to be King of Asgard- I wanted a throne!- when will be my chance for a throne Thor?!-" I froze right then and there, Thor just looked at me astonished at what I had just unleashed "is that what you wanted?- what you couldn't just be brave enough to inform Father that that's what you wanted?" He asked in defense.

"How could you even understand?" I finished. "I was first born Loki not you, so by my birthright I was entitled to the throne" He corrected me "your also in charge of your mood, which you have ruined in bringing this sudden outburst upon me". Feeling a bit remorseful, I apologized "I'm sorry Brother, I didn't mean to jump at you" I said looking at him. 

"You'll find your place someday Brother- maybe not today or tomorrow but someday". I looked out at the lake, " I sometimes wonder that myself- going back to what my purpose is...I must have some kind of purpose?" Thor gently looked out at the lake as well, "maybe the one to help you with that is Father?" He replied, I looked down "perhaps?- but not today or the coming days" I said glancing at our now cooked breakfast rations. "At least not yet...I don't know if I'll 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 be ready to confide in Father the way I confide in Mother, perhaps I just don't have the confidence yet?" Thor looked at me.

"Why are you afraid of Father Brother, even for just a simple question answered?" He asked " I don't think he'd listen, I don't think he'd even care, I can't even have a simple conversation with him, it always leads to anger and hurt, mainly on me" Thor, went over to the fire and scrapped some food onto another flat stone slab and handed it to me. "we're getting older Brother, maybe as you grow older he'll finally listen?" I slightly rolled my eyes "if only it were true, to him I'm nothing more than an outcast- even you know as well" I proclaimed "you are not, at least to me, your my friend, my Brother, the person who looks up to me, the person I confide in more than Father, yes I want this, to be King, but it's not a pleasure I want if your not alongside me"

I looked at him as I took a small portion of egg, and ate it "I didn't realize you needed me so?" I sounded surprised. "....I can't ascend the throne without you, cheering me on, supporting me, you just left me last night, I had to come up with a reason.." He began, "a reason?, you were trying to defend me?" I blinked in surprise. "No, a reason why the Throne was so important to me, and why it isn't, if your not there to partake in the occasion with me" He answered " but yeah, I guess I was defending you, as a big brother shouldn't I show that I care about you?" He asked

"I'm just flattered, that you would?" I said looking at him, "your my little Brother Loki" He exclaimed placing his hand upon my shoulder briefly "thank you brother, I feel honored that you would care about me" He removed his hand from my shoulder "we may have different minds, but we're always going to be Brothers..." we both continued to eat breakfast.

I really hoped that our closeness would last, but only within this moment, sadly I feel this would be our only moment. As I looked at him again, then at the sun dancing upon the lake from the wind carrying it's warm glow, upon it's ripples, I surely have Carpe diem....even if it didn't go as I had hoped it would.

Midday, we returned to the Palace. Back to my mundane of being a Crowned Prince of Asgard, by now uncertain of where my future lied, but I knew I had to try to make the most of it. Until the day, I finally find my own Throne.