Chapter 19: Sugar Roasted Chestnuts

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Hearing Song Yu's words, Yue Zhishi's nose started to burn, almost as if it'd just been pinched. The tears he'd tried to hold back for a long time finally started to flow.

He very stubbornly tried to wipe away his tears with one hand. He very quickly needed to use his other hand, and soon enough even both of his hands weren't enough to clean his face, the tears falling faster the longer he cried. He turned around and pushed Song Yu, shoving him until his back faced him once again. He placed his forehead onto Song Yu's back and cried, his shoulders quivering. His tears fell too quickly, so he buried his face into his pillow and tried his best to not make a sound.

Song Yu stayed silent the entire time and let him cry. It soon looked like he ran out of patience, as he flipped over, took off Yue Zhishi's blindfold and dragged him into his arms. The tone of his voice didn't sound comforting at all.

"You're only happy after you dirty my bed."

Yue Zhishi wetly retorted, "You told me to cry."

Song Yu didn't reply, his entire attitude utterly unskilled at soothing someone. Yue Zhishi buried his head into his shoulder socket and didn't dare wipe his nose. In between his sobs, he asked, "Won't your clothes get dirty?"

You really do love asking questions.

Song Yu said in a low voice, "You can wash them if they're dirty."

From that point on, Yue Zhishi started crying recklessly and outrageously like a child, his sobs as loud and earthshaking as they used to be. Song Yu quietly lay there with his eyes blank. This entire scene was a little foreign to the two of them currently going through puberty, even though they'd held each other like this often throughout childhood. To a younger Song Yu, Yue Zhishi was like a noisy little toy, following after him as if there was a ribbon connecting them together, like the little duck in Tom and Jerry. But as long as someone held him, he would quiet down and quickly fall asleep.

He was always very quiet and obedient after falling asleep. He would look like a doll, just like how adults always described him.

After growing up, Yue Zhishi was as well-behaved when awake as when he was asleep. He didn't cry or fuss around randomly and was always understanding and easy to like. Children during their adolescent years were always afraid to cry loudly, almost as if their troubles weren't worth being considered troubles, as if they weren't worth mentioning and were insignificant, or as if they would be accused of not knowing what true worries were. It was only in front of Song Yu that Yue Zhishi could place down his burdens and fall apart.

Yue Zhishi couldn't stop sniffling once his cries slowed down. Song Yu guessed from his understanding of Yue Zhishi that he wanted to say anything, so he listened for his voice. But Yue Zhishi ended up touching Song Yu's arm and pulled his hand over to his back. With a voice full of tears, he asked a small request. "Can you pat my back?"

Song Yu didn't refuse and lifted his hand to pat once. Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked at him. "I didn't mean only once."

"Mm," Song Yu said, his hand starting to move. He asked, "Still feel wronged?"

There were no obstacles in their understanding of each other. Yue Zhishi very quickly understood his question and answered, "No, not particularly. What he said is true, and he probably doesn't even know why I hit him." Yue Zhishi suddenly broke into a laugh. "But bullies are meant to be beat up. You probably don't know this, but he was even kicking people."

Song Yu's mouth tightened. "Don't participate in these sort of things anymore."

"I know." Yue Zhishi closed his eyes again. He felt like he was in a warm cocoon, and he emptied his mind. He softly opened his mouth and said, "Actually, I've almost forgotten how my parents look like."

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