Chapter 36: The Awakening of Feelings

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They were too close.

Yue Zhishi didn't get the chance to answer Song Yu's question when guilt and panic pulled his body into retreating, and he stumbled over the higher step behind him, his entire body falling backwards.

But Song Yu reached out, grabbed his arm and tugged him forward before he could fall. Yue Zhishi was like a wobbly toy without any free will, tilting to and fro, before he finally fell headlong into Song Yu's arms.

"What's wrong with you?" Song Yu asked, frowning.

Yue Zhishi extracted himself from his arms without thanking him at all, and then retreated a few times to stand on an even higher step. He spoke a bit unsteadily. "I'm fine."

Song Yu stood in place, gazing steadily at him as if he was trying to decide whether he was speaking the truth.

Yue Zhishi wasn't acting like he normally did at all. He had no way to explain to his gege why he was acting so differently, so he simply gave up and crouched down. He hid his face in his knees and used another reason to cover up his peculiar behaviour. "I accidentally drank a little bit of someone else's beer. I feel a bit sick."

Hearing this, much of the suspicion still lingering in Song Yu's heart disappeared. He crouched down as well and took Yue Zhishi's wrist, flipping it over to check if he had any rashes — none. If Yue Zhishi said it was an accident, then Song Yu would never think otherwise.

"How much did you drink?"

Still keeping his face buried in his knees, Yue Zhishi shook his head. "Not much, just a sip."

The wrist Song Yu was holding felt like it was burning, the heat creeping up his arm and into his chest like a snake. A light layer of sweat appeared on his back. He wanted to pull his arm away, but he also wanted to stay in this same position, wanted to continue being held like this — he even wanted to be hugged again like before.

Having all these contradictory feelings felt too strange. But when he thought about what he'd just seen in the karaoke bar, Yue Zhishi subconsciously started to panic.

A certain kind of possibility for himself he'd never thought of extended in front of his eyes, and that possibility was something completely different from everyone else. It was an untimely thought, but he thought of the reactions of all the other boys after they saw the two men together — all of them, without even thinking about it, openly mocked and ridiculed the video without the slightest hint of trying to cover up their distaste.

Only he was different.

Why couldn't he laugh about it?

"Go home." Song Yu released his wrist and patted his hand. "Take some allergy meds later."

Yue Zhishi raised his head, his face now even redder after stuffing it into his knees. "Are you going home too?"

Song Yu nodded at him. "It's quite boring."

"Then why'd you come?"

The look on Song Yu's face slightly shifted. When faced with Yue Zhishi's uninhibited and straight-forward questions, he'd learned a very long time ago how to change the topic. He stood up by himself. "Are you coming?"

"Yes." Without hesitating, Yue Zhishi stood up as well, but then he remembered his merchandise was still on the table in the karaoke bar. He told Song Yu he was going to go back and get it.

Song Yu didn't say anything, only wordlessly following behind him. The large room for the junior high year three students was at the very end of the first floor, while the high school year three's room was on the second floor. Song Yu initially hadn't wanted to go in, but when he thought about the beer Yue Zhishi had accidentally drank, he guessed there should be some students who didn't really follow rules. He decided to go in with Yue Zhishi.

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