And at this moment I couldn't decide which light I actually wanted to go.
Do I want to go back to that living hell?
Or do I want to let everything go and finally feel peace after all these years?
I didn't know to which light should I go to.
I do badly wanted to let everything go,to feel peace and safe.
I so badly wanted to get out of that living hell forever and the only way were through death.
Death didn't seem so bad as people say.
But if I would choose death,then I maybe never would meet my parents?
If they now were alive though..
I would love to meet them again,it's been years.
So many years since I last saw them..it breaks my heart actually.
I remember some faint memories of them,and I definitely remember that I was happy with them.
They gave me attention,played with me,took care of me..but mostly important,they loved me.
And love is something I forgot how it feels,how it feels to love someone,how it feels to be loved.
So if I would choose death,I would never be able to see my parents again.But if I stayed,that would mean that I would go back to the living hell.
But what do I know?
Maybe my parents are dead?
I don't wanna risk that,I don't wanna go back to Hyunjin,to his sick,psycho games.
I don't,I don't,I don't
As I decided,I started to walk towards the bright light.
I got warmer and warmer the closer I got,I felt peace as I walked closer to it.
It felt so nice
But suddenly I started my o cough,really badly.
It felt like my throat tightened and it was hard to breath.
I coughed water,amounts of water.
My eyes widened,I was scared.
Everything started to spin,my eyes couldn't stay open.
Would I die before I even got to the death?
I felt my heartbeat slowly slowing down.
I fell down to the floor,shaking like crazy and coughing water.
I closed my eyes and slowly drifted away.
I woke up,feeling water all around me.
I was laying on something cold,like a floor.
A cold floor.
I was soaked in water,the floor was soaked in water.
There were 2,no 3 people who were standing beside me,looking down at me.
They all had worried expressions showed on their faces.
I looked confused again.
Who are they?
I looked at them,trying to remember everything.
Y/n:
"W-who are y-you..?"
I asked them a little scared,one of the persons there..he was so scary and creepy.
He made me really nervous just by looking at me.
???:
"Damn dude,you should have dragged her up when I told you to!"
The man beside the creepy man talked as he hit the creepy man slightly on his arm.
What is he talking about?
I confused looked around.I was in a bathroom,a dark bathroom.
There was one bathtub which I laid beside.
Have I been laying in that bathtub?
And why?
I..I couldn't remember anything.
???:
"Y-you don't remember..?
It was a young girl who talked,she was dressed in a old dress and her hair tips were colored in the same color.
I think she was in the same age as me.
The other man who didn't look so creepy,grabbed the girls wrists harshly.
???:
"I told you to shut up!"
The girl looked scared,she bowed and apologized.
Why did she apologize?
Y/n:
"W-where am I..?"
As soon as I said those words,I once again remembered everything.
Where I was,how I came here,what had happened.
I did walk towards the bright light , I wanted to let everything go.
I wanted to feel peace, but before I could reach the light , I started to cough up water and then I woke up here.
Why? I wanted so badly to let everything go!
Why did I come back here ?
???:
"You for real don't remember anything..?"
Jimin, who stood beside Hyunjin asked.
Hyunjin looked a little worried also , but it was barely noticeable.
Why would he even care for me?
Jimin however, looked really worried and scared,
he did seem to care, care about me.
He obviously didn't care that much of Chungha.
I..don't remember..
I had to play with,what if things will change if I pretend not to remember anything?
What if everything gets better after now?
Maybe this punishment wasn't that bad if it made me forget arterwards and possibly get less worse punishments.
Jimin:
"Shit.."
Jimin cursed as he frustrated dragged his hand through his hair.
Jimin:
"If you had dragged her up earlier-"
Hyunjin interrupted him immediately.
Hyunjin:
"Shut up!"
He was as frustrated as Jimin, even more.
Suddenly Hyunjin harshly grabbed my wrist and dragged me up on my feet again, the he quickly dragged me to my own room.
He threw me on the bed.
Hyunjin:
"What do you think you are doing?! Huh?!"
He was screaming at me , literally screaming.
It was clearly that he was mad , I had never seen him this mad before.
What was wrong with him?
It wasn't like the other times when he creeped me out and was unpleasant, this really scared me .
I was afraid he might do something bad, but again what he was doing now was already bad as it could be.
Hyunjin:
"You answer me when I ask you something brat!"
His eyes were dark ,showed anger, his voice was dark and raspy.
The way he looked at me..
Hyunjin:
" Do you understand?"
He continued to scream at me.
Y/n:
"I'm sorry..master"
Hyunjin:
"Do you think you can lie to me? Pretend that you don't remember anything?!"
"Oh I know your little game brat, you think you can just pretend you don't remember anything so you can get free? Isn't that right?"
I had to answer , even how scared I was.
Y/n:
"No m-master.."
Tears in the corner of my eyes threatening to roll down.
Come on Y/n don't cry, stay strong.
Don't be weak.
Hyunjin:
"Is it clear now ?"
I slowly nodded my head.
"I said is it clear?"
"Yes master."
He sighed loudly and annoyed.
I let the tears roll down on my cheeks.
I wish I never had pretended to not remember anything.
I wiped the tears away so that Hyunjin wouldn't see them..but it was too late.
Surprisingly his look softened.
Hyunjin:
"Oh dolly, don't cry."
He walked over to me gently and calmly.
What was he gonna do?
He stroke my cheek and looked into my eyes which were filled with tears.
He was so calm and gentle, the totally opposite of how he was just a minute ago.
Him and his mood changes were really weird.
Hyunjin:
"You have to understand that I get mad when you disobey or misbehave dolly."
I nodded my head as I lowered it , avoiding his gaze.
Y/n:
"Y-yea , I understand master."
He took his fingers under my chin and lifted it up so that he could see my eyes.
Of course he wanted to see my eyes , he always talks about how he wants to look at them forever.
Hyunjin:
"You know what I always say,dolly."
Y/n:
"You always want to look at my eyes."
I mumbled.
Hyunjin:
"Such a good dolly."
He smiled like a child.
Hyunjin:
"Now,go to bed. I will say goodbye to Jimin and Chungha."
He smiled as he stroke my hair while saying it.
Y/n:
"Yes master."
I walked over to the bed as Hyunjin left the room.
I changed clothes.
I was al little sad that I didn't had the chance to say bye to Chungha.
I just hoped she will survive at Jimin house.
I laid down on the bed under the sheets, looking at the doll Mary on the desk.
Y/n:
"Goodnight Mary."
It was like I was waiting for a respond,but of course she wouldn't answer.
She was a real doll, a toy.
I stared at Mary for awhile,I felt so lonely but the doll somehow made me feel a little less lonely.
I sat up again as I reached for Mary, then grabbed her and looked in to her eyes.
Y/n:
"You are so beautiful Mary."
I swear I could see the corner of her lips lifting up a little, like she was smiling.
But when I looked again she looked as normal as always.
Had I imagined that ?
I probably had.
I sighed as I laid down under the sheets again, holding Mary in my embrace as I hugged her.
Y/n:
"Good Night Mary"
I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
.....................................................................
I'm sorry guys that I've kept you waiting so long.
I've seen that some of you really enjoyed this story so that's why I'm gonna try to post more often. <33
