SUNSHINE and DARKNESS

100 followers special

so yeah i was requested angst  

i am giving it my best go

bear with me

word count - 1,610

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I'm Broken

Will clenched his fist as all of the calmness and patience he's been trying to give Nico for the past 6 months start to seep away. "You can't keep doing this to me, Nico!"

Nico looked down ashamedly, "Will, I-" he faltered, he wanted to explain himself, but he really doesn't have a valid explanation for keeping all his demons and nightmares to himself. Will deserved to know them because all Will ever wanted to do was help, and yet he always found himself changing the topic or holding back.

Will looked furious, "You what, Nico?"

Tears began to stream in Nico's eyes, "I can't yet.. I'm sorry.."

Tears also began to stream in Will's eyes, his next words weren't even shouted, it was soft, but you could feel the edginess and coldness that Nico usually doesn't associate with Will, "Look Nico, I'm not gonna judge if that's what you're afraid of. We're a couple, I want us to share each other's pain, let me take part of your burden. You don't have to carry it all alone. You gotta learn to open up. Especially because.." Will sighed as he mumbled, "I'm your boyfriend and I worry a lot about you."

That's it, tears Nico's been holding back finally dropped down his cheek and neck. He still can't speak, he was frozen, he was stubborn, he really didn't want Will to know or see the things he's been through, it's all too much. Will was too good for that, or maybe he was just afraid that if he opens up, he'll break his boyfriend. That's one regret he doesn't wanna risk.

Nico must have been silent for too long because Will nudged him gently, calling out to him, "Nico, please, say something."

Nico looked up and met Will's dazzling blue eyes, even when he was angry, they still shined beautifully or maybe it was because of the tears swimming in them. Did Nico do that? Did he make Will cry? How could he?

Nico managed to shake his head as he silently replied, "I'm not ready yet. Can you be a little more patient?"

Will sighed as he closed his eyes, letting the tears finally drop then for the first time, he was the one who looked away. He can't bear this. He opened his eyes, still avoiding Nico's gaze as he whispered, "I've been nothing but patient with you, Di Angelo." he then met Nico's gaze, only this time, he pierced through it, making sure Nico got the message as he mustered a strong stern voice to say, "Look, I love you so much. That's why I've waited, that's why I stayed but you don't expect me to watch you get panic attacks, and nightmares almost everyday and not do anything about it. Then, what type of boyfriend will I be?"

Nico looked down with a shrug, "A patient one."

Will shook his head then put a finger on Nico's chin to raise it up so that Nico met his gaze again, both of them were crying now but Will had to let it out, he can't keep bottling this up, because then, he would be a hypocrite, "Again, I love you but I can't continue on like this. That's why I'm leaving the next move upto you."

Nico stared at Will with fear, the fear that he might lose him, the very first person who actually showed him that he truly cared after years of being alone, how could he let that go?

Will stared at Nico, noticing the fear, but he had to take a stand. It really was unfair that Nico was keeping him in the dark, he loved Nico but he deserved better, he deserved an explanation. One's patience can only last so long. So, before he can change his mind and begin comforting Nico, he stood up then walked towards the door. As he was about to turn the knob he gave Nico a glance, "Come find me if you're ready to talk, apologise or.." he faltered but they both knew what the last option was, it's something they both dread, but he said he'll leave the decision to Nico and that's what he's gonna do, "..or breakup with me" he managed to choke out.