Ti desideravo I want you

CHAPTER 1

                                             This isn't me, but who you want me to be

It was a cold night, the dark clouds obscured the stars and the moon. It was quiet, quiet enough to hear the fierce breeze whistle.

I was sitting on my bed, looking out the window, when suddenly I burst out crying. I look at the mirror in front of me. Was that the same me? Was that the same 16 year old me? My emotions were out of control because at this point I didn't even know myself.  I was in a dark place.

Everything changed when I had just turned 16.  I was wearing my new pink crop, with the new mom jeans I had just gotten from my birthday. It was a starting of a new school year, but this time my parents had different plans for me.

 My parents sent me to a boarding school, called Phillips Exter Academy. It was news that had gotten thrown upon me a couple of hours before school started. I was pissed, to be honest. All these years I had to be mommy's and daddy's perfect girl, get the perfect grades, be on top of the class, and come home straight away when school finishes. Just rules to follow. They even put me in figure skating because they thought it would teach me to be sincere. Instead, it got me a sprained ankle. 

I was always that type of girl who wakes up with the messiest hair, the girl who'd rather spend her time wearing sweatpants than skinny jeans, the one that loves comfortable T-shirts, who doesn't need a guy to tell her she's beautiful, who wears sneakers instead of heals, and that girl who's best friends are books. Books were my stress ball. It was a way to escape from a world that I didn't really want to be in.

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After some time, I finally arrived at the boarding school. It was intimidating, the large, heavy door that stood in front of me. The statues of wolves were the first 2 things I saw. Wolves were predators, they were associated with danger, destruction. It symbolized the devil to me. I had a strange feeling on the back of my neck, but it was interrupted by a loud noise that scared the living heck out of me. 

My father took me to the main office where I was left waiting for what seemed like hours. Finally, a lady called me in to meet with her. "Tania right?", the dark-haired, light skin, and eyes as cold as ice had said. "Ye-", before I even had the chance to reply, she gave me the uniform and showed me to my dorm where I would be staying. Everything happened so fast, I was already in my uniform waiting for somebody to tell me what I should do. I had no idea how things worked around here.

Was I supposed to go to the classes? When did class end? Where are the schedules? Most of all when will be the first time I return home? The one thing I could think of was to get the book I've been craving to read since this morning. There was a lot on my mind and I just wanted to escape this world into a fictional world, where there are problems other than my own. 

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Some time had passed and the only company I had was myself. I was wondering who my roommate would be. Hopefully, somebody who I can get along with for the whole year, and someone I can relate to. The door opened and the first thing I saw was a tall figure that stood in front of me. His hair was light brown, his eyes were locked on to mines as if he could read whatever secrets were written on my face, and his athletic body from his jawline was perfect. Who was he? He was probably wondering the same thing. Who was I? 

I don't even know who I was anymore. Yes, I was Tania, but what was I doing in a place I didn't want to be, I isolated myself in this room, where it was just me and my books since I got here. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my room?", I was so into my thoughts I didn't even notice he was trying to talk to me. " This is my room. So, I'm guessing you, my roommate?"There was an awkward amount of silence between the two of us.