be safe, bambina

chapter 5

"Bishop, can you hear me?" Shepard said, standing over Maya's bed, with her flashlight gauging Maya's eye movement. "Don't move your head though, try and say it or blink twice for me."

Maya did neither. She didn't even try to speak. She just kept following the light until Shepard pulled the flashlight away. She moved her eyes to her wife.
Shepard next moved to her hands. She took her left hand and squeezed.

"Can you feel this?" she asked.

Maya again, did not answer, but remained looking blankly into Carina's eyes, not moving a muscle.
A single tear fell onto her cheek and Carina whipped it away softly.

"I can...feel...you," Maya said, taking time with her words, which seemed impossible to get out. "I have a terrible headache," she uttered.

"And let's hope it stays that way," Shepard said.

"Did you not just hear her, she said she's in pain," Carina uttered back.

"And she will continue to live a life with pain, Carina.
There are a lot of long-term negative impacts after having a stroke like this," Shepard said. "She could experience seizures, vomiting, severe migraines, less consciousness...and her life-expectancy could drop significantly."

"Why didn't you lead with that?" Carina snipped back.

"That's an idiom," Maya whispered, forming a tiny smirk on her face.

"Bambina," Carina said.

"Maya lives an incredibly healthy life, she doesn't abuse alcohol or drugs, she works out religiously, you both eat healthy...I don't see why she wouldn't be easily in the 75 plus percentile to survive longer than the average after having this stroke," Shepard said.

"I do think what will benefit her is taking some time off of firefighting," Hunt interjected.

"I can't do that...they are my family...I need to be there for them," Maya said.

The crew was already at the threshold of the door.

"What you need to do is take care of yourself," Andy said. "We will be supporting you through this and waiting with open arms when you can safely come back. We can't have a wounded soldier out on the battlefield. We love you too much to allow you to put yourself through that."

As Shepard and Hunt moved the equipment around to allow room for Andy, Vic, Dean and Travis, the ice had broken about what had really happened.

"I don't remember much of it," Maya said. "I just knew my heart was racing and it felt like a panic attack, but worse, much much worse. I thought I could handle it until I saw you all running out of the door, I knew I couldn't make it that fast and then my head started pounding. I don't remember after that. I should've let you help me, Miller."

"You can't go back, Maya," Miller said. "We know now what happened and we can support you and Carina through this."

"What does her recovery period look like, Shepard?," Andy said.

Amelia described to the team and Carina that the first week or so will be the most challenging; helping her get up and walk around, talk, eat, shower, will all be painful for her, she said. She added that Maya would need to be monitored 24/7 and will need help doing most things.

"Right now, I don't suspect there is a timeline as to when she will be fully recovered and ready to go back to work," Shepard said. "But I have no doubts that within a couple of weeks or a month, she could easily go back to the station and at least do office work, just nothing physical."

"I can work with that," Maya said.

"I also think that in this case, therapy could be extremely beneficial...and you can do it over Zoom or Facetime. I can set you up with a ther-," Shepard said.

"No. I won't be needing that. Thank you though," Maya said, speaking over Shepard. "Do you know when I will be able to go home?"

"I think we need to monitor you for a few more nights and then you can go home," Hunt said. "But let's all give Maya and Carina some space, shall we?"

The crew, Shepard and Hunt all gathered their things and left the room.

Maya just looked at her wife with tears filling her eyes.

"I am so sorry," she said.

"Bambina, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong at all," Carina said. "Can I come up there with you?"

She slowly and softly helped Maya move over, noticing her wincing in pain she stopped her.

"No I am not getting up there if it is just going to cause you pain," Carina said.

"Get up here now and hold me," Maya said.
Carina slid herself onto the hospital bed softly and laid on her side so she was facing Maya.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again Mrs. Bishop-DeLuca," Carina said, whispering into Maya's ear. "All that matters is that you're safe now, with me."