2 minutes until the next train arrives.
“Are you alright?” Oikawa whispered beside him.
Iwaizumi nodded, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry you had to wait this long.”
“Idiot.” Oikawa chuckled, “I told you I’m willing to wait more years if that means you’d live long enough to enjoy the world.”
Iwaizumi was still shaking in his seat so Oikawa reached out to touch him and just like before, he calmed down bit by bit.
“So… I take that you actually did it...”
“Do what?”
“My last wish.”
Iwaizumi took a while to respond. Maybe because it was part of his life he never wanted to remember. Waking up with Oikawa gone and only a piece of a scribbled note to remember him by.
“Yes.” He responded, “I tried dating Aiko, but we broke up after a few months… there’s just too much history between us.” He paused and examined Oikawa’s expression but it remained eager so he continued, “Then I tried dating a few more, but none of those relationships lasted as well. So I decided to take a break… at least for a few years… and then I met Megumi.”
“Megumi?”
“Yeah, we work in the same company.” Iwaizumi said, “She’s really kind. Very friendly and warm. Has a nice laugh and a pretty smile… and her eyes are really beautiful.” He smiled, “We got married and had a daughter who turned five this year.”
“You must have loved her,” Oikawa said simply. The smile on Iwaizumi’s lips slipped as he turned to look at Oikawa. He wasn’t sad or hurt—just stating a fact. He didn’t look jealous at all, which made him wonder if he was happy for him.
“I did.” He replied, “We were in love… for all those years. Until we weren’t anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Megumi and I got divorced a few months ago.”
“What—why?”
Iwaizumi sighed, recalling the last conversation they had before separating. How many times he had hurt her because… You’re a kind man, Hajime. I will forever be grateful to how you took care of me. But you are not in love with me. And I deserved to be with someone who loves me fully. We both deserve that person who will make us happy and I hope you find yours.
“Guess I suck at being a husband?” He suggested bitterly.
Oikawa frowned, “You? That’s impossible. You’re the best guy I know. Even at your worst, you’re still the best boyfriend I’ve had.”
“Yeah, because that’s you. ” Iwaizumi supplied and Oikawa stopped. He stared at Iwaizumi for a long while before he spoke again, “You… said you loved her.”
“I did.”
“You had a daughter with her.”
“Yes, Tohru is a lovely girl and I love her with all of my being.”
“You… named her after me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You know why. It’s the same reason why I’ve been a horrible husband to Megumi. Why I'll always be a horrible lover to anyone I'd be in a relationship with,” Iwaizumi sighed, “I was still in love with you.”
Oikawa gave him a shocked, despondent look, bit his lip as it quivered with all the emotions he had kept inside him. “Iwa-chan…”
He gave him a bitter smile and watched as Oikawa reached out to touch his arm. He closed his eyes and wondered if this was just a dream. If he is really dead or he’s just asleep.
But Oikawa’s touch felt so real. He held on to the hand that touched him and pulled the guy to him. He was warm and his smell was familiar. He breathed in his sweet vanilla smell, rid of the bitterness of disinfectant. Oikawa wrapped his arms around him, too as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Tooru. ”
“Hmn?” He felt his hum more than heard it.
“For not granting your final wish. I tried to love someone else. I tried… to love her and for a while, I thought I did.” He sighed as he felt Oikawa squeeze him tighter, “But I couldn’t love her just as much as I loved you.”
“Hajime,” Oikawa called. They pulled away and Iwaizumi realized he was crying. He vigorously rubbed on his eyes to stop the pathetic tears. “I love you.”
Iwaizumi smiled softly and sadly at him, “You’ve made it quite impossible for me to love someone else.”
Oikawa smiled as he touched his cheek and leaned forward to give him a soft kiss—and everything else disappeared. His heart soared and a jungle roared in his stomach as emotions swelled inside his chest, threatening to explode.
He grabbed Oikawa’s face and deepened the kiss as if by doing so, he had erased all those years they hadn't seen each other. Oikawa didn’t feel different, didn’t taste different. He was just as sweet and as beautiful as he remembered and he wanted to cry because it had been too long… and he had been too tired trying to replace the void Oikawa left when he died.
A rumbling sound came from the distance. Metal clacking with metal. Two bright lights appeared at the furthest part of the station and the louder the sounds got, the brighter the lights became.
They pulled away, letting the vibrations of the braking train and the sound of their pounding hearts overwhelm their senses. Oikawa was smiling at him and mouthed the words, “I love you.” Iwaizumi thought he was so beautiful, it fucking hurts.
Iwaizumi closed his eyes:
Am I dreaming? If I open my eyes, will Oikawa still be there? Or will I be back in my apartment in Tokyo? In my cold bed, in tears, staring at the ceiling? Will I still be alone? Maybe death is not that bad.
He felt deathly afraid of his reality, but when the sound of the train hushed down into a slow, soft hum and the world around him felt unbearably cold, he mustered up all courage and opened his eyes.
The train has arrived.
//
