'𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐄𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚, 𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐚'

⌱ [𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒]

I was 14 when we lost Eomma today. Even though it seems completely ludicrous to think that Eomma might get into a car accident while on the phone, that is what appears to be the case.

At that time, I was at the age where I was mature enough to comprehend what was happening. Hayoon might have a hazy look at that past, but to me, everything is still crystal clear in my mind. I have seen Appa go through all the stages of grief. I saw our lives crash down all of a sudden. With my own eyes, I saw him in his worst condition. With my own hands, I dragged his unconscious body to his room when he fainted due to weakness. It only happened once. One time was enough for him to feel guilty for his irresponsible behaviour. To realise that he has two lives totally dependent on him. To realise he still has aspects to live his life for. And maybe that was why he never gave up. He never gave up on me or Hayoon, but it pains me to say that he gave up on himself.

As for me and Hayoon, her absence left us both feeling empty, hollowed out. We had no one to turn to anymore. We dreaded her embrace and her presence. We yearned for her warmth.

Halmeoni always tried to convince Appa to remarry for the sake of us, but Appa was stubborn.

Hayoon, having a weak immune system, fell long-term ill after the loss, but Appa handled everything despite the depression. No matter how wide he smiled, he was always lonely.

Remembering all of this, I wonder if, if I succeed, I will be able to change the part. To what degree can I put everything together? Will there be anything left in my path when I go through with my plans to fix our situation?

-

Jungsoo's thoughts came to an end as he ended his journal for the day. With a shaky breath and a heavy heart, he dragged his swivel chair towards his monitor, re-examining the final work he finished a few minutes ago. He was just a few steps away from success. All he needed to do was work on the finishing ends of the machine as per the modus operandi he just worked on.

While going through the design, he felt the need to cross-check it with the hand-drawn one of Jungkook, so he went near the shelf board that had all sorts of physical notes made by his father for Chronosaion. He shuffled through a few files, searching for that particular one when his eyes landed upon a thin folder file under all the notebooks.

The file had Jungkook's name on it, but Jungsoo couldn't recall seeing it or anything about the content inside of it. Maybe it was something he needed to get more detailed about in one of the notes. His curiosity got the best of him, and he opened the folder only to find a bunch of old high school assignments and schedules. Amid all the papers, he found a sheet filled with some email IDs along with their security details. Jungsoo understood that it must be all the email IDs his father must have used once.

While Jungsoo was interested in what information these IDs could provide him in the future, curiosity won out, and he decided to dig deeper into the IDs, so he went back to his PC and got to work. For a good while, he came to nothing but one big conclusion: his father had a boring teen life.

Just when he was about to stop surfing, he came across some unread emails. Not just some, but many. All of them were scheduled emails. What caught his attention was the sender ID.

HyejinGwan30**@gmail.com

Jungsoo was confused. Why was his mother sending so many emails to her husband?

The emails were sent on different dates. There was no pattern or fixed time interval. They were random. One by one, he started reading the emails. It took him a little more than two hours to complete reading all of them, and by the end of it, he was amused.