I Am Okay

Walking Home

I walk down the barely lit sidewalk by myself again. For me, it is cold and scary, but I know that my house is a few blocks away. The wind chills down my spine as I start to pick up my pace. Like my brother says, 'when in doubt, think of balloons'. For some reason, for the past week he started loving balloons, and he tells me I will start to love them too. Sometimes, I don't understand my brother.

I finally make it to the apartment building after what seemed like forever. I walk in and instantly feel the heat of the room wash over me. I smile at the secretary and go to the elevator. I know my brother is waiting for me; it's just a feeling.

I make it to the room we live in and open the door. Guess what I walk into.

My brother with a bouquet of balloons.

Why does he like balloons so much??

"Oh, what a surprise," I say with a sarcastic tone.

"Hey, at least I don't binge eat while watching netflix, unlike someone I know," he comes back. That was a good comeback...I feel ashamed.

"Well...ah...your mom!" I laugh to him. We both know very well that he won this round.

"My mom is your mom, too. You lose this round, Matt" he says.

"Shut up!" I take the balloons from his hand and head down the hallway to put them away.

"Oh, Matt?" he calls when I am already halfway down the hall.

"Yes, Alfred?"

"Come back here after you're done, okay?"

That made me smile, "Okay, I promise." I walk the rest of the way to my room and shut the door. Actually, our room. We only have one bedroom in the apartment, so we kinda have to share a room...and thank god we have two seperate beds.

It can be a blessing and a curse living with my brother. The only con I can think of at the moment is all the damn balloons! He never told me what the balloons mean yet! I really want to know, but he keeps saying, 'you will understand one day'. I really don't, and I don't know when I would know.

I come back to my brother sitting on the couch watching tv, pretty oblivious that I came back. I wanted to leave him alone, but I remember he told me to come back. So I sat next to him. He still did not notice I was there. "Hey Alfred," I tried saying. Yet, he still didn't notice me there, glued to the television. I want to throw a couch pillow at him, but he will get angry; I know it. I just watch the tv to see what he is suddenly attached to.

He is watching the news.. "...And he was never seen again." "Thank you Charlie. I hope that puppy gets returned home."

"...Alfred why the hell are you-" he shushes me with his hand and looks at me, "it's the next story, chill."

"Next story is that a crazed killer, calling himself 'Opium Power' is in North America. 'Opium Power' is anonymous, and the police have no information on who exactly the killer is. He has killed 4 people in the United Kingdom so far."

"Stop watching these things, its depressing," I say with concern. Why is he interested in a story like this? I grab the remote and turn off the television. Alfred turns to me, furious.

"Why did you do that?? I was watching that!" he yells to me.

"Why are you interested in something so depressing??" I retort.

"Because I want to see if he is nearby!"

"Now, what are the odds he is nearby?? Calm down, Alfred."

"What if today is our last day-"

"Stop. We are just fine. Okay?" I start to get agitated, so before I get out of hand, I get up to leave the room.

He quickly grabs my wrist, "no, stay, I promise, we will do something else." I hesitate, but end up sitting down.

We ended up watching a movie and made popcorn. Note to self, next time, I will make the popcorn. It was a whole two hours of sadness, and I don't understand why my brother is so into sad things all of a sudden. Afterwards, we got ready for bed, and Alfred immediately went to sleep. However, I can't sleep. I stare up at the ceiling, thinking abot things I should not worry about yet and what life would be like without criminals. To be honest. it would be better, and also worse.

If you think about it, if we have no criminals, we would have no cops, and no jails. We would also have lots of security that would be of no use. However, we would be fine with our doors unlocked and we wouldnt be as scared of life. However, when we have criminals, life is scary and we are more cautious. There are plenty or arguments, but for now, I am unbiased.

The night grows later and I grow sleepier, but I cannot sleep. Whenever I try, I end up not being tired enough to sleep. I look at the balloons that are in our room that he gave to me, and I start to think. Maybe, the balloons are spiritual, or maybe a guy told him to get a lot of balloons all at once. Maybe he just loves balloons. I have no idea.

I finally have the tiredness for sleep. I check the time before I go to sleep, "two in the morning..?" I plop back in bed and close my eyes. Maybe tomorrow, I will figure out this whole balloon deal.