I was walking around the big city with my friends. It wasn't the pretty Chicago city most people imagine. I live in a small brick apartment on Concord road. There was 3 of us. My friend Tommy, Brooke, and I. We didn't have much money, but living together was better than living in a foster home. We all escaped the foster home 8 months ago and eventually they stopped looking for us.
My dad died in a plane crash a year after i was born, and my mom died from drug abuse. I told myself i would never end up like them, for my sake not theirs. I always think of my parents as "bad" people. Well, not so much my dad but my mom is one person that i didnt wanna end up like.
Tommy is my number one best friend. He has been my friend since i was 3. We dated when we were in 7th grade which was probably the biggest mistake of my life. He hated me for a year after putting him through heartbreak. One day he moved to a different city which stopped all communication. Then one day he texted me paragraphs describing how rude he was. After that he decided to move out of his aunts house to live with me and Brooke since we were in the middle of 9th grade.
8th grade was the best year ever and also the worst. Not just because Brooke moved there but because i fell in love, and was one of the most popular kids in my grade. I fell in love with a boy named Cam. He had dirty blonde hair that was short but he still swept it over. He had beautiful hazel eyes with perfectly white teeth. He had one tooth that stuck out a little but i thought it was cute. He dressed in V- neck t-shirts a lot and cacies with bright red vans. Not many people noticed him. He was easy to notice because of his looks but he just never put effort into "standing out." At lunch he sat at the popular table but never got talked to. They probably didn't notice he was there. One day at lunch a guy at the popular table i sit at said something to Cam. He said, "Hey, you trynna say something new kid?" I tried to tell the guy he wasn't new but he obviously didn't care. Cam noticed everyone was looking at him then pulled his sleeves down. Then another guy at the table who was brothers with the other guy stepped in and said, "Uh Cam? Whats that on your arm?" Cam looked down to his phone and stayed quiet. Then Miranda stood up slowly with a small smile and said, "Aww, looks like new kids depressed!" Then bursted out laughing. I didn't know he cuts. I was speechless. It didn't change my feeling for him it just stunned me. Cam looked up to us. I've never heard him fully talk. That may sound rude but its true. He said, "Ha, you guys are funny! Those aren't cuts." We all knew he was lying. After lunch we went home since it was a half day. I tried to go to his locker to ask him to go out to a party with me this weekend. As a date. He was walking too fast so i decided to wait till Friday morning.
Friday morning came. I was so excited but also very nervous. The only person i told that i was gonna ask him out was Vanessa, my other best friend. She called me nervously into her advisory. Was he waiting in there for me? Did he ask Vanessa out? She tried to calm me down. She slowly opened her mouth trying to speak while her eyes were tearing up. Apparently Cam took his life last night. His aunt Carmen found him dead in his room. I dropped to my knees. I felt like a lost a part of myself. We never had a real conversation but yet i still loved him dearly. That's what broke me.
I tried to start talking to Alex. He was Cam's brother. It was hard to get even a few words out of him after what happened to Cam. I didn't know who to talk to. All the kids i sat at lunch with started sitting with 10th and 11th graders. They would still sometimes talk to me in classes but it wasn't the same. School was like that till the very end. Graduation was the only day people ever noticed me.
Now all of us are almost 20 years old. Most of the time foster homes don't keep kids at that age but they always thought us three were big time trouble makers. I've been sent to jail 5 times from alcohol and drug abuse. I never wanted to end up like my mom but i sorta did. Brooke had to go to a mental hospital for about 4 months for suicide attempt. Tommy took the fall for my DWI so he went to jail but eventually got out. We have been through a lot of shit but now were on our own i've stopped doing cocaine but eventually started smoking pot. My alcohol usage has gotten a little better but not much. I watch out for Brooke a whole lot after the Cam thing i can't lose another person i love. 2 weeks ago was probably one of my worst days. I got called to court because my aunt and uncle were trying to get "custody" of me. It wasn't exactly custody since i was 19 but i always refused to leave with them so they got court involved. This may sound strange but fortunately the judge brought up my jail time and my aunt and uncle dropped everything and left without me.
