What We Can Be-A ten and rose fan fic

Chapter Four

        I spread out the yellow and white plaid picnic blanket across the spot John had chosen to enjoy our peanut butter and jam sandwhiches. We were dining on the top of a fairly steep grass hill that over looked a park full of children and various breeds of dogs. We hadn't talked the whole ride here out of awkwardness, and the thought of sitting here alone with him for 2 hours made my palms sweat. It was so hard to act any kind of normal around him, our situation was anything but normal.

        John finally broke the silence, "Shall we eat?"

        "I guess so." I said wearily and sat down with my legs crossed. I guickly glanced at him in his plain white shirt and distressed jeans. He looked so different from how he used to look, now his hair is all scruffy and he's got a little bit of stubble. I can't say I don't like it though, in this case different is better.

        "I know they're a bit ripped," He looked down shyly at his pants as if he could sense what i was thinking. "I didn't exactly know what I'm supposed to wear to a date."

        "So this is a date?"

        "I said we were official didn't I?" He smiled at me, why is his smile so cute.

        "Yeah but..." I took a pause to gather my thoughts and find the best way to phrase it without sounding like a total twat. "I just don't really know how this works."

        "Dating?"

        "Something like that." I meant specifically dating him, how does dating the love of your life's half human twin work?

        "Well, it's quite simple actually. You find a nice quite place where you can admire your partner," I blushed. "And you try your best to learn more about them, involve yourself more with them, try to read them like a book. Over time you develop more feelings and at that point everything will just come naturally to you."

        "Sounds like you've had a lot of experience with this sort of stuff." I said with a hint of jealousy in my tone.

        "I'm 942 years old, it's hard to avoid these things."

        "Wait... now that you're half human-"

        "It's not like I suddenly became half human, that's just what I am."

        I didn't miss a beat even though my mistake caused me to internally cringe "Does this mean you'll start aging regularly and you'll look 1000 years old?"

        He chuckled gently. "If I looked a thousand years old I'd be in ashes."

        "Right." I smiled and bit into the soft bread of my sandwhich. "You aren't too bad for your age."

        "Is that so?"

        "You don't look a day over 800."

        He laughed again, this time more sincerely. "Rose Tyler.." The words made me shudder. It's my own name and now it's been forever ruined. It's even worse that  it's his voice, images of being on the beach with him flashed through my mind. What was he going to say? What could he have possible been going to say? "You never dissapoint."

        I didn't respond. I stared down at my sandwhich as if it's the most interesting thing I've ever laid my eyes on. Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler. Rose-

        "Are you okay?" I look up and immediately lock eyes with him, he's been staring at me the whole time. He has no idea what he's done to me. No idea what I've been going through and how hard this is for me. He thinks him having the memories is a good thing, that it should make me happy. It doesn't, that's the worst part about this. It's so close to being perfect, so close to being him but we're so close to perfection and will never be there.

        "I'm fine." I let out a deep breath. "I'm always fine."

        "You're not." he places both of his warm, gentle hands on either side of my face and looks into my watery eyes. "And I promise you Rose Tyler." I wince. "I will not rest until you are." He presses his soft lips into mine, simultaneously pulling my face towards his. I feel like I'm floating. Like I'm back in the TARDIS with the thrill of adventure rushing through me. His kiss feels like adrenaline. And when he pulls away and I open my eyes, I feel fine.