Manipulated Vunerability ~ HSMTMTS AU

Chapter 9

Big Red headed to Ashlyn's house. There was only a week left in summer, it had flown by extremely quickly. Things were going well. He knocked on the door. She was the only one home, so she answered.

"Good morning." She beamed; it was barely 11:00 a.m.

"Morning lovely." He whispered as he pulled her into a kiss. "I love you." She flushed.

"What's this for?"

"Well, because I love you, and because—" he started to ramble.

"Bad news?" She guessed.

"Well, I don't know if it's necessarily bad...."

"We got too lucky with the past few weeks, didn't we?" She partially joked, but let out a sigh. "Is it still Lily and Ricky related?"

"Okay, I mean, it's not really that big of news. But, you know, Lily did drama with North High last year on stuff, but she's going back to a full on East High student. Which also means theatre, which..."

"Hasn't she messed up enough?" She complained, more for her boyfriend than herself. Lily bothered her too, but she was concerned about Big red right now.

"She's probably gonna go out for the lead again." He ignored her previous comment, not wanting to sink into the depths of self pity, even if he deserved it after the past months. "Which is sad, because all our friends are so talented. And I'm sure there are others who are too. Without being... mean."

"Man, Gina was really hoping for the lead this semester." Ashlyn sighed.

"Oh. Huh."

"What?"

"You don't wanna be the lead?"

"I mean, we'll see what happens. It was a lot of pressure and I'm super busy, but I loved it." She shrugged. She walked over to the couch and sat down with him. He put his arm around her waist.

"But..."

"What?" She asked softly, tilting her head.

"You aren't just... avoiding going out again because of Gina. Right?" He checked.

"It's... a factor. Like everyone else I care about. I mean, you're a factor. With everything I have to do, especially junior year, I don't know if I have time for every club. Obviously I'm staying in theatre, but the lead might be too much."

"What does that have to do with me?" He frowned.

"I have to work in time to see you."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess so."

"Not have to, of course. I'm so, so grateful I get to."

"I just don't wanna hold you back." He gave a small shrug. "If you want the lead, go for the lead."

"I know, it's a small factor babe. But at the same time-" she moved her arms around his neck, nearly smirking. "-a huge one." She finished, kissing him passionately with no hesitation. He lightly rubbed her back, which was easy as his arms were already behind her.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"You wish." He shook his head.

"I do." She stated. "It's not holding me back. Besides, like, would I even want the part? Would I even suit the part? We'll see what happens but in the mean time..."

"I'll do whatever I can to keep Lily from messing with you, I swear."

"I'm more worried about you." She gently ran her fingers through his hair. "Things were so good. With Ricky, wot everything. Or as good as they could be."

"I want to knock sense into him. But I don't know how." He rested on her shoulder. "I'm failing."

"What?" She looked taken aback, not that he was anywhere near able to see her face with how his face was buried in her shoulder

"I'm supposed to be there for him. I'm just letting him get hurt, slowly. How can I let myself do that?" He whispered. "He's my best friend, Ashlyn, and I'm just... watching it happen. I could say something but I don't. I'm a failure. I'm failing the one person who could always depend on me and I could always depend on."

"Baby, no, please... please don't say that." She hugged him tightly. "You aren't a failure."

"I was his number one confidant. He would talk to me about everything. And now that's Lily. That didn't even happen with Nini much. And it's my fault, because I don't help him realize how wrong she is and I don't give him the opportunity to talk to me."

"Hey, hey, love, take a breath." She instructed. Having finally processed everything he had said, she started. "It may feel like that. Trust me, I get feeling the pressure of other people on your own shoulders. But you do give him the opportunity, Big Red. He just won't talk to you about Lily because he knows you don't like her."

"It's making him more closed off though."

"That's not your fault. Your door is wide open. And one day, hopefully pretty soon, he'll realize why the one thing you wouldn't talk about was Lily."

"Maybe."

"And you aren't watching it happen. You've warned him. You're still trying to be there. And this is complicated, trying is all you can do. He's doing what he thinks is right, and so are you. And, love... sometimes meddling just makes people regret things."

"I don't know." He said, full of doubts.

"I promise you this: you can't blame yourself for Lily's actions."

"I'm not."

"But you are." She shook her head, kissing the top of his head lightly. "Even if you don't realize it."

"I guess."

"Just know I'm here and both of us are doing the best we can. Everyone is. There's not really a right way to handle this."

"Thank you, Ash."

"And, for the record... you might be his number one confidant. But as much as I like to say it's Gina, you're mine. And even if he can't depend on you and you can't depend on him, I'm always here. Always." She repeated.

"Always." He squeezed both her hands. "Have I ever told you just how beautiful, supportive, and amazing you are?"

"I am all of those things." She said, flipping her hair. The joke was, as jokes often were, to cover up a real answer. She was not in the mood for deep conversation anymore, mostly because focusing on herself, that way, might make her upset. Fake it until you make it, she remembered.

"You really, really, really, really are." He rambled, pulling her into a kiss that would've made his knees weak had he been standing up. "Feels nice to be with the life of your life, don't you think?" He gently traced her face with his thumb.

"So nice." She agreed, smiling.