Manipulated Vunerability ~ HSMTMTS AU

Chapter 5

Ashlyn's parents had been in and out of town all summer for work. They finally took her along one time, which meant leaving home for about 4 days. It also meant leaving her boyfriend. Normally this would have been annoying but easy enough, but she knew he was still struggling with Ricky. Quite honestly, she was too, and Lily's insults never helped her feel better.

"I love that shirt." Big Red said, watching Ashlyn pack from her bed.

"Yeah, I do too." She sent him a smile before continuing to add more clothes to her suitcase. "First date outfits sure make their mark."

"And if you're lucky it's a good one."

"I'm definitely lucky." She walked over and leaned to kiss his cheek. "So... um, call me if you wanna talk... I know things are messy..."

"Yeah. And, you know, you do the same." He smiled sadly.

"I hope things get better."

"Me too."

"I really, really hope things get better." She sat beside him, sighing. "I hate that you're hurting. Life's unfair, it hurts good people, blah blah blah... but it really does just feel unfair."

"Yeah." He agreed quietly, pulling her into a hug.

"He's your best friend..."

"I just— it's that kind of thing where you wish you were mad. I've drifted apart from people before and when they were with newer friends or whatever, I would think about how they've changed for the worse and everything they said just made me want to tell them to shut up."

"Yeah..."

"But it's different. I wish I could be mad at him, but I'm hurting and I know... I know that he's hurting to. He wouldn't even trust her otherwise— and I wish I could make him see that but... I don't know..." he trailed off, collecting his thoughts. "I feel like I should be doing something, I'm supposed to help, I always help and he really needs it right now—"

"Babe." She cut him off, kissing his forehead. "It's not your fault."

"But why can't I help?"

"You can, alright? It's just... not so easy." She rubbed his back. "Try to meet up with him. Without Lily. Just try to get on okay terms, maybe he'll open up, and you can point out issues. I think he might be defensive if you just... start pointing things out. It'll just be another argument."

"I guess that sounds fine... but it would take so long, I wanna help now, he's hurting—"

"Things take time." She reminded him.

"And talking to him sounds too hard." He added quietly, mumbling into her shoulder. She gently ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hey..."

"I'm just scared, and I'm too much of a coward to get my own friend out of a relationship that's bad for him—"

"Slow down." She interrupted. "It's hard, okay? But I know you. You aren't a coward, love, you're just a little scared. But I know that's not gonna stop you, you're still gonna help as much as you can, which makes you the opposite of a coward. You're brave." She hugged him tightly.

"Thank you." He whispered. He sat up and wiped a forming tear from him eye. "Um... as far as the whole Lily thing goes for you—"

"I know my worth." She mumbled, almost ashamed this conversation was needed. She did. She knew her personality only had a few flaws like everyone else's (there are times when you can tell she's a Caswell) and when she noticed people in public with any of her physical traits, she still thought they were beautiful. She could not understand why she wasn't good at thinking the same thing about herself.

"And you never need to doubt it." He rehabbed both her hands, rubbing circles with his thumbs and smiling softly. "I know you will, but you never need to. You're so beautiful. I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled slightly, wiping a tear or two off her face. "Thank you."

"Come on." He stood up with her. "We've got some packing to do."

"Have a good trip, Ash." Big Red kissed his girlfriend's cheek.

"I will." She hugged him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Despite their long relationship, this was the first time they would be apart for so long. Or it felt long, despite it being 4 days. They were mature, but it was still young love, and it was upsetting. Plus, Ashlyn would probably be too busy to contact him much.

"Bye." She pulled him in for a quick kiss.

"Excited?"

"Yeah." She beamed. "I'll see you... uh... Tuesday, I'll be home pretty late Monday."

"Okay. Remember... call me whenever."

"You too." She smiled. "Have a good time, babe. Hang out with another one of our friends."

"Yeah, but... I'm just not that close to any of them."

"What?"

"Well EJ and I get along when you're there, but it would be pretty awkward with the two of us." He started.

"Fair enough."

"I can't talk to Ricky, I don't know what terms I'm on with Nini. Kourtney's got a bunch of shifts at work, I do too which is kinda nice since I get to do something... and I'm just not that close with Carlos or Seb. Gina—"

"You get along with Gina!" Ashlyn happily exclaimed. "I mean, we're constantly in the same house."

"I guess so. I just don't know how to invite people to stuff, I think that's really the point, cause they all sound really great to hang out with..."

"Do a group thing, you're bound to get some relationships out of that. Just little moments where you get closer with someone."

"I'll give it a shot."

"Hey, it worked on Thanksgiving." She smirked, kissing him once more. "Bye."

"Bye." He smiled.