Tenya Iida Oneshots (cause he needs love and I love him ;3) [ON HIATUS]

Incorrect Quotes

Iida: Shit.
Y/n: Watch your fucking language

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Iida, tending to Y/n's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Y/n: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend

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Iida: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Y/n: *chugs entire bottle*
Y/n: It's perfume.

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Y/n: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Iida:
Iida: Y/n, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Y/n: *Sips coffee from bowl*

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Y/n: You love me, right, Iida?
Iida: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

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Iida: Do you take constructive criticism?
Y/n: I only take cash or credit.

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Y/n: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Iida: Mind your language!
Y/n: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
Iida:
Y/n: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Y/n: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I'M SORRY]
Iida: What's that?
Y/n: Remorse code.
Iida: I'm even angrier now.

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Y/n: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Iida: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Y/n: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Iida: Y/n, that's a coma.
Y/n: Sounds festive.

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Y/n, pointing: May I sit there?
Iida: That's my lap
Y/n: That doesn't answer my question, Iida.