The answer was no . She had said no . My heart was non existent . Her friends all told me I was ugly , I was honestly not surprised . I sat back and just waited , in the mean time I had to create a cover for myself so no one would discover who I really am ( a boy with a big heart who gets attached to easily). So I decided to be the funny guy . I love making people happy , I don't care if I hate the person , everyone deserves to be happy. So I decided to be the funny guy who makes everyone laugh and people usually dislike him and treat him like he's a nothing but yet he still tries. I felt lost . At this point people were calling me ugly , ratchet, retarded, weird . So I just lost it and I tried the only thing I could . I would count how many times I would be called ugly every day and I would cut myself 2x the amount I had been called ugly that day. The point of me telling u this is not for sympathy but to let u know the hole story . I'm tired of keeping this to myself, I'm tired of keeping everything inside so that it will slowly kill me . So I would go to school with my legs,arms ,and hips all cut up and people wouldn't know they were the reason why and they would keep going farther to the point where I felt no self worth. Then one day I notice ... Amber has her sleeves all the way down and the edge of her sleeve is tucked under her fingers, squeezed tightly in a fist . Then I see her face , her beautiful smile then I see her eyes that scream"help me" and I see the edge of her eyes watery . I knew the moment I saw her that she was lost just like me . And i know she had cut her arms up just like me . I went in to first period after that and I just sat there thinking why would such a beautiful perfect girl hurt her beautiful body . My eyes began to water so I went to the bathroom , i look in the mirror and I see myself . I think to myself I'm ugly nothing can make me uglier not even scars but why would Amber do it? Then I balled my eyes out . Later that week I got her number...and I texted her.
