Angel Face

25: Grounding

Even though I knew Devina and I most likely wouldn't end up together, I still couldn't help that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Over and over again, the voice screamed in my head for me to take her.

To own her and make her mine.

But those thoughts were plausible.

This was Devina we were talking about. She wasn't to be possessed by someone, let alone me. My mind couldn't seem to understand that when we got down to the bottom of it, I was the dog, and she was the owner holding the leash.

Since I got here, before Drylanding, Devina and I didn't really speak to one another by choice. It was more on an obligation basis.

However, that didn't mean I didn't think about her constantly. She was always there, playing in the back of my mind. Theoretically, we were supposed to loathe one another, and to a degree, I did.

But even I knew my hatred for Devina was superficial.

Because deep down, I wanted her. My subconscious has already joined in on the torment.

So when Devina suggested finding a way to get rid of the Soul Manacle, it hurt me, especially after last night.

She was there for me when I did not deserve any ounce of comfort. But still, she cleaned me, clothed me, and put me to bed.

Talk about mixed emotions.

Did she not want to be near me as much as I wanted to be near her? It's not fair to feel such forced attraction to someone and them not reciprocate. I didn't want to like her. I didn't want to feel nervous when I wasn't with her.

But I was forced to.

The least she could do was feel the same. Or at least pretend to.

I knew there was no changing her mind, and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't try. I think being burned alive would feel better than asking Devina about her feelings towards me and then being rejected.

Maybe she liked me the way that I liked her, and she was too stubborn to admit it. Perhaps it was just too embarrassing for her.

With that wishful thinking in my mind, Devina led me out into the courtyard. I was wary at first, even stopping and telling Devina no, but she pulled me outside anyway.

I was scared that the scene would still be there and Devina was going to punish me, but there was no blood in sight. No stains or smudges around. Even the fountain water ran clear. It looked like normal.

"Devina, I don't think it's a good idea for me to be out here," I said, pulling against her hand clamped around my wrist. It tightened at my resistance.

I could feel my heart start to race as the thoughts from last night came flooding back. There was a moment of vertigo, and the ringing in my ears soon turned into Oriana's pained shrieks.

"Since we're...mates-," She gulped with a grimace before continuing. "You should be able to feel things the way that I feel things. The body remembers the deep emotions, and it'll replay them for you."

I took a step back, moving my gaze away from the water fountain. Why the hell would I want to do that? I am traumatized; I don't want to relive what happened here.

"I don't want-,"

Devina shushed me. "I know it sounds scary at first, but once you get the hang of it and learn to shut off emotions that are too strong, all of this will seem like a piece of cake. Now, stand where you were and shut your eyes."

After a brief hesitation, I took my place exactly where I was. Once again, her screams echoed through my skull, nearly causing me to fall over. My heart started to beat faster.