The Crow

Chapter 29. Realization

**CONTENT WARNING**
This chapter contains mature content such mentions of self harm. Material is explained further, see information in "Ongoing Updates, Publishing, Warnings."

Neveah Crow

To say I felt drained, would only be a fraction of how I feel. During my stay in the Hospital wing, I couldn't bother to feel anything, acknowledge anyone. I had lost every part of me. Revealed the darkest pieces and was now left vulnerable.

Harry did his best to keep me company, though I wasn't much of a socialist. I begged myself to let him in, but I couldn't. At least not at that moment.

But I had taken enough, and it was time to take responsibility. Harry deserved an explanation of everything. To be honest, it wasn't the only thing we needed to talk about.

But I can't handle that right now. What I can do is tell Draco thank you. I will tell Harry. Just later.

Madam Pomfrey ordered another day's rest, though I'm free to leave the Hospital tower. While everyone else was in class, Draco was nowhere to be found.

Wandering the halls, I hoped luck would be on my side. It seemed as though it wasn't. That was until now. The doors to the Room of Requirement stood before me.

They beckoned me forward, and I felt the pull. Within my flight or fight, I pulled on the handle. Swarms of clutter blocked any view I had. Instead, I followed the sound of cursing out in the distance.

Creeping behind piles of books, I found him. His sleeves rolled up in frustration as he paced the room. His hair a mess and creases in his brows. I watched as he stressed himself in more ways than one.

His anxiousness seized when he caught me. Both of us were frozen, knots in our throat.

"Hello, Draco." My words more a question than a greeting.

"Hello." Hesitance in his voice, "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I wanted to thank you actually. Harry told me you helped with their plan." I stepped closer. "How are you?"

I hated the awkwardness between us. We hadn't had a normal, civil conversation in months. I didn't know what to say, how to act, how to move. Judging by his expression, he felt the same way.

"I'm alright. Just needed somewhere quiet." He gestured to the room around us. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." My words fell from my lips quicker than intended. Startling both him and me. "Right, well, I'll be out now."

I whipped my head with nerves, rushing to find the exit. I didn't understand why I felt so nervous. The realization that we had lost all we had killed me. We were strangers.

"Wait."

His hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back. We stared where our skin met. Both unnerved at the familiarity. Both lost in the comfort it brought us. His thumb brushed over my hand. I hated myself for feeling something so extreme over something so minor.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "For everything. The shit I said to you, the shit I still do. I'm sorry- for the things I have to do."

"God Draco, why must everything be a riddle? I don't understand you, or what's going on. I don't know what to believe or-" I let out a heavy breath. I struggled to pull away, shutting my eyes. "I wish you would let me help you. Let me in, Draco. Please."

"You know I want to do nothing more. Neveah, if I could leave this all behind, I would. For you, I would do anything."

"Anything besides being honest." When I looked at him, his eyes fell to his feet. "I can't do this. Over, and over, you kill me."