The Crow

Chapter 35. Deathly Burdens I

**CONTENT WARNING**This chapter contains mature content such as emotional trauma and violence. Material is explained further, see information in "Ongoing Updates, Publishing, Warnings."

{Music is highly recommended!}

Neveah Crow

"Neveah?" A cool whisper from the dark room. Harry sat on the end of my bed. The room was dark and empty, yet filled with his nerves. "Thank Merlin..."

Harry rose, rushing over to me, still standing in the doorway. His arms pulled me close, squeezing tightly.

"Merlin, are you okay?" His hands braced on my arms, pulling away to examine my disheveled appearance. "Neveah?"

I didn't respond. Instead I wrapped my arms around his chest, my head on his heart beat. Harry's stiff body softened, wrapping his arms back around me slowly. He let out a heavy breath, okay with the silence. I closed my eyes, bathing in the peace he brought me.

"Hermione is with Pavarti, she snuck me in here. I went to look for you but... you were gone." Harry tightened his grip. "God, Neveah, I was so worried about you. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this."

I couldn't find a way to respond. I didn't know what to say, how much to tell him. Then my grandparent's voices came back, ringing in my ear. I just wanted Harry's arms to never leave me.

You're a burden. You burden everyone. Why else do you think everyone leaves?

I suddenly pulled away from Harry, unable to control the thought. I couldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't look at him without being ashamed, embarrassed. I suddenly wondered why I always let him see this part of me. How... disappointing.

"Neveah?" Harry tried finding my eyes, reaching to push away my hair.

"Please-" I turned my head in the opposite direction. "Please don't."

"Neveah... it's okay, it's me." Even without looking I could see the confusion in his face.

"I know. That's why I need you to leave." I could feel his heart sink.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up-" He reached out again.

"No!" I shouted without thinking, suddenly feeling my heart sink as well. "Leave. Get out Harry. Now."

The sternness in my heart was unsettling. I watched myself push him away and scream.

You. Are. A. Burden.

I can't... not to him...

Harry finally let his hands fall limp to his side, stepping back. My eyes looked past him as I gestured to the door. I waited silently, my gaze fixed on the wall. He took hesitant steps toward the door, stopping just outside the doorway.

"I love you, Neveah." He turned around, his eyes burning into my skin. "I love you. I want to be there for you. No matter what, I love you."

I love you too, Harry.

I let the door close, numbness spreading across my body.

But I can't do this to you.

My heart ached as I watched the shadow of his shoes stand still at the door, and my heart broke as I watched them walk away.

I gasped for air, falling against the door. My dress, covered in dirt, pooled on the floor as I fell. My body shook from the splints, causing physical pain to accompany the emotions I felt.

They will all leave you. As soon as they realize how much ruin you cause, they will leave you.

How many times have I thrown my problems to Harry? How many times have I weighed him down with my secrets? How many times have I put him in a situation... that risks his life? How can I call this love?