𝘛𝘳𝘺𝘴𝘵 • 𝘋.𝘔.

4. Trouble.

Seraphina

Lord, they're so, so, so fucking dead. To explain, Scorp, Lio, and Verena had D.A.D.A yesterday... meaning that they knew Malfoy was there already and didn't feel like giving me a fucking heads-up. And to add to that, instead of going to the courtyard after D.A.D.A, Genevieve had left to go find her friends and I went to go find something to smoke before I had the chance to lock myself in my room and never want to come out and couldn't find a fucking blunt. So, I did the next best thing...got drunk off my ass. I know, I know, I have class and I need to show up but I need a distraction. All I can think of right now is Malfoy, he ruined everything for me. I don't like saying I hate people but he's an exception. 

I was able to sneak into the Ravenclaw common room and into Verena's room to get some Fire Whiskey. I sit on her bed and contemplate if I should be doing this, especially since last night we were just drinking. 'You deserve this, even more since your friends decided to keep it from you'. 

As I was thinking that, I realized that Ves and Ophelia were also acting strange... you've got to be shitting me.

Coming to that conclusion, I open the bottle of Fire Whiskey and take the biggest gulp possible. When my mom passed away, I would sleep most days. It was a cycle really: sleep, cry, repeat. I ate, mainly because Scorp and Mrs. Malfoy would force-feed me or even the house elves. Months would pass and I eventually ate without assistance, but as time passed, I found new coping mechanisms...drinking and smoking, and other..harmful tendencies I'd rather not talk about. Around that time is when kids started to "experiment" with drugs and alcohol, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me to do it. The only noticeable problem was that I would do it more frequently than others. This started in the middle of third year and lasted up till, coincidentally, the beginning of 5th year. I was still able to maintain my grades and pass my O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's exams, but I started to look sickly and everyone was starting to notice...even him. Salazar, when he brought it up, it made me hate him even more. 

Trigger Warning: SH

It was summer break before going to 5th year, I was in my room or better yet, Scorp's old room; my head hanging over the edge of the bed, and now and then I'd take a swish of Fire Whiskey. I'd lock my door with charms and spells only I could take down, anyone who tried to break them would get sent back to the foyer of the manor.  I went to take another drink only to realize there was nothing left, this was probably my third bottle? I think. Letting out a groan of frustration, I go to use my wand to fill up the bottle again. As I watch it fill up, my room door bursts open and I end up falling off my bed, head first out of shock. I peek over the bed to see who the fuck decided to disturb my peace, only to see the eldest Malfoy standing at the door.  

With a smug smirk on his face "Don't you just look delightful" 

He cannot be here...please Merlin. 'How did you get past my spells?!' GET OUT!"

He's the last person I want to see right now, or ever. I hate leaving these four walls because of him, every time I go downstairs, every. time. without fail he manages to find a way to blame me for my mother's death. Whether it's because I didn't side with the death eaters or help him with the Vanishing Cabinet. God, please get him out.

'You think your little third year spells are strong? Please, you can barely keep yourself proper, look at you.'  He scoffed, which was followed by a grimace when he fully took in my physical state. 

By this time, I'm already off the floor and standing in front of him with my wand in hand...little did I know, my sleeve had slid up when I fell off my bed. I see him look at my arm, my wrist to be exact. I see his face drop, but it somehow darkened and became almost mischievous.

'Aw.' He sarcastically said. 'Does the little girl miss her mummy?' God, you should really stop doing that for attention' pointing at my wrist. 'It looks disgusting, you're disgusting, you half-blooded wit'.

All I could possibly do is stand there...lifeless, with tears pooling in my eyes and falling on their own. Wanting the world to swallow me whole, wanting to just be with my mum. I have always struggled with my mental health, finding different ways to hurt myself just to ease the aching that I felt all throughout my life. But, my mum, was the best, she never let me feel bad about it, she would even heal the scars just so I wouldn't have to look at them ever again...but that was all for nothing.

How can he be so cruel? I have no way of standing up for myself and here he is...picking on me, belittling me.

'Get out...' my voice was merely a whisper, I felt my legs shake under me and I was about to just give in. 'please, Draco, get out...' I hated how little and defenseless he made me feel, I couldn't handle it.

'No problem, mudblood.' He laughed as he left my room. That's when I finally let go, I fell to the ground and curled into a ball in the middle of this room, this house wasn't my own, this body...isn't my own, not anymore. He made sure to remind me of it, each and every time he got the chance. 

'HELLO!?' the voice is faint, it sounds like it's coming from the Ravenclaw common room. This voice is what snaps me out of that terrible memory. 'SERAPHINA, PLEASE DO NOT BE DEAD!' the voice is closer to Verena's room door, in the corridor leading to it. It's Scorp, but I can hear everybody else's footsteps trailing behind. One thing I don't notice is that there are still tears streaming down my face, as I'm laying on my back facing the ceiling, and the pillow I'm laying on is soaked. I suddenly hear the door burst, I still don't move, not even a flinch, I know who it is but I can't muster up the energy to even move my head. 

'Oh, honey' I hear Ophelia say, with that pitiful tone in her voice. But instead of getting annoyed like I usually do...a sob escapes my mouth. I hated it, I hated vulnerability. That day, in the room with Malfoy, was the last day I had cried, the last day I had let someone make me feel so shitty about myself, and that was also the last day I had seen him. I can't believe he's back...

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I know... I know... It's been a while. A long, long, looong while. But I missed this, so I wanna try my best to get back into it. I, unfortunately, can't make any promises. I love you all and if any of you feel like Serphina felt, I'm so sorry, I know how you feel and it will get better. <3

-A