Tattoos Together || Larry Stylinson

Chapter 25

"Louis, I'm a doctor, of course I know what that is." It had taken him a few moments to make that statement.

"And most of all, I know it's not legal. It's punished like murder, Louis."

"Are you basically against it?" My question was a little mean, I put him in an uncomfortable situation.

"No, not in principle ... But that doesn't mean that I actively support it. It's a moral issue, I'm neutral."

"I do not know to what extent it is morally reprehensible to kill a sick person painlessly at his request... If an animal is seriously ill, we also kill it to end its suffering."

"I didn't write the law. It's just not possible Louis. Unfortunately, you have to cope with that."

"It is not possible here. But there are enough countries where it is allowed."

He looked into my eyes in surprise.

"I've been informing myself about it intensively for a long time. I know that it is allowed in Switzerland and Luxembourg. Also, in Italy under special circumstances. Funnily enough, I wanted to get even more personal information on vacation, but obviously something stopped me." I reported.

"Stop that, Louis. You heard the doctor; you might be able to live another year and a half. We don't do euthanasia. Stop putting that on your mind."

"Don't you fucking get it? It would only make the dying process slower and more agonizing. You are a bloody doctor, Mark; you should know that. You see patients like me every day. You saw mom, she went through the same thing. She wouldn't have wanted me to have to. She would have fucking supported me. Learn to let go." Broke it out of me a little too loud.

"Don't yell at me like that, Louis. Euthanasia is out of the question. End."

I clenched my hands into fists, only to let them go again afterwards.

"Then from now on I will do everything to make it happen as quickly as possible. No more eating is a good start..." I thought out loud and had a very provocative voice.

"Go Louis. Go to your room and think about how you want to do it, chemo or no chemo." He didn't respond to my indirect threat at all.

I did not understand why he did not support me. Without a word I stormed into the hallway, where Harry was nervously pacing up and down.

"Lou, how is it, please tell me, I can't take it."

I ignored him, walked right past him and didn't want to see anyone at all in that moment.

I felt misunderstood and patronized.

I heard Harry running after me and felt his hand on my shoulder, which I just slapped away.

"Louis..." He whispered startled and looked at me with his big eyes as if I had just rammed a knife into his stomach.

I shook myself briefly, he couldn't help it either. "I'm... sorry Harry. For that. For everything."

"I do not understand."

"It's okay, alright, it's still too early to understand."

"Haven't they been able to tell you exactly yet?"

"I don't want to talk, bubs, please don't let us talk, please hug me and don't let go of me until it's all over."

He looked at me with eyes glittering with tears and actually hugged me. After a few seconds, however, he carried me into the room.

Edda sat on the bed with half-closed eyes and looked at Harry questioningly when he came running through the door with me in his arms, lying me down onto the mattress.