The Little Girl Next Door

Chapter 8 - Console Thy Neighbour

I have chapter 8! In all this fanfic is 17 chapters, and it was the most enjoyable thing I have written in a while. Really got me out of a writings slump.

There's another Invader Zim reference, I can't help myself. IZ was my first foray JV's universe. I'm edgier now and more into JtHM, but I will still watch IZ every now and then and quote it.

"I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a bit, kay?"

Someone loved Nny.

Actually loved him unconditionally, and fuck... he was losing the battle yet again. His emotions were at war, fighting for supremacy, but they would only destroy each other in the end, destroy Nny...

They would lay waste to Nny's mind, leaving him empty, lifeless, and hollow. It would be a different kind of emptiness from the one he'd tried to emulate for the past three years. He would become a husk, a shell of a person, and he didn't want that. He never wanted that, even back when he still had feelings of suicide.

Dying wasn't the answer, because Nny would only end up in hell again with all those freakshows, and heaven was out of the question. Not that he would be welcome back there again, anyway, after the mess he made, but who wanted to sit on a chair for all eternity?

Nny would rather become a part of the carbon cycle, his conscious mind dying right along with his body, as terrifying as it sounded. Total oblivion. No heaven or hell, just... nothingness. No more thoughts, no more emotions, no more anything.

But until that inevitable day finally came around, he still wanted to experience things and search for answers. But his newfound knowledge that somebody loved him had put a wrench in all that.

The love had divided him, giving him a dual personality, and now Nny was uncertain. His reality had split in two because of his indecisiveness, and then it would only be a matter of time until the universe fractured and he loses control of insanity. Not unlike the time when the wall monster used him, but who knew what would become of Nny this time. He'd lose his mind, or completely break down and stop functioning altogether.

Two possible realities, two possible outcomes...

Fuck. He couldn't let that happen.

All Nny had ever wanted was a perfectly functional mind, one that could still experience the world without feeling. He still wanted his awareness, just not in an emotional, feeling kind of way.

It wasn't easy. Life was full of unexpected thrills, no matter how short they may be. It was like the loopy sensation you get in your stomach when you're about to go down a rollercoaster, making you feel alive, and that wasn't good.

Maybe that burger statue was right. Like a typical mammal with his sophisticated nervous system, Nny was still bound to feel some things, and it was a shame he had to be born a feeling creature...

It wasn't much to ask, right? To be as cold as the autonomous life form known as Mr. Samsa—a cockroach, or more specifically, Periplaneta americana?

The insect that lived inside his house just wouldn't die, no matter how many times Nny killed it, but that was beside the point.

Nny could not feel again. He had vowed to never be a slave to any external thing ever again, becoming as cold as the moon in the night sky. But the moon was starting to set, and now the sun was rising in the form of Molly...