The Beach Club| Drew Starkey a.u.

FOUR

The moment Aspen walked out of the beach club and into another uber that took both Kasey and herself to their homes, she was anxious. It's not that she had never been out on a date before, it was the fact that she had only been out on a date with one other guy. Joshua, was the guy she had her first date with, the guy she had her first kiss with, and he was also the guy she lost her virginity to. She loved him, and a part of her still did. She honestly thought that he was going to be the guy that she would marry one day. When she walked in on him making out with another girl on the couch of his apartment, she was crushed. That feeling of complete betrayal was brutal. There was nothing like the pain of having to walk out that room and knowing that it's in your best interest to never walk back into it again. Joshua of course ran after her, trying to explain his actions, but what else was there to say? He cheated on her. Of course, there were a few nights where Joshua and Aspen hooked up, secretly. It was a secret that would never tell anyone, not even Kasey. She was ashamed for having gone back to him when everyone, including herself, knew what a piece of shit he was. Yet, there was something in her that didn't want to lose that connection. She stopped seeing him completely at the beginning of April. He had asked her to get back together with him, and she really pondered the thought of it. However, she no longer saw herself smiling at the idea of being with years down the line. How can you live a life with someone whom you no longer trust?

Once Aspen was home, she went up to her room and headed straight for the closet. She wanted to wear something casual but illustrated that she made an effort to look nice. She chose a black tank top and a floral skirt, pairing it with black sandals. After checking the time, she decided to lay down on the bed and watch a show. Gossip girl reruns were the best thing to calm the nerves that were starting to make her feel sick to her stomach. It's not that she was afraid to go out with Drew, she was afraid that if she did end up liking him- it would have to end in August. A relationship with an expiration date sounds like something out of a movie, but those movies always end with someone's heart being broken. She didn't want that person to be her. She reminded herself that there was no harm in one date, but she wasn't ignorant to the feeling she felt when she was near Drew. The way her heart raced when he touched her skin, and the addicting tension between them. It was something that she hadn't felt in a long time. The feeling of being desired should be classified as a drug. Serena was having another fight with Dan, she wasn't giving him the attention he felt he deserved. The way they dramatize a conversation that could be solved by better time management is astounding. It made Aspen feel that she was also freaking out over nothing. There was no telling what would come from this date and there's no telling if by the end of it they would end up liking each other. In truth, they were very different people. Aspen grew up very privileged and didn't know struggles beyond infidelity. Drew had shared very little with her so far but, it was evident he had experienced a lot of suffering throughout his life. How you were raised, what you have faced, really accounts to any decision you make. It's a testament to who you are, and why you turned out how you did. It wasn't however, a reason big enough to not build a connection on that basis alone. Coming from different backgrounds allows a learning experience for both parties. She was frustrated with how her mind was racing with every possibility of how the date would go. She gave up on trying to ease the butterflies in her stomach, and opted for a nap.

When she woke up she watched two more episodes of Gossip Girl before getting ready. Finally, she got up and put on the outfit she picked out. She curled her hair in soft beach waves and applied natural makeup.