"I'll just have to kiss you and make your heart beat a little faster for me... Kim Yoo Seol"
Kim Yoo Seol and Jeon Jungkook have been friends for god knows how long! But all hell break loose when one day out of nowhere Jungkook confess that he want...
Things might go wrong between us. That if we become more than just friends, we'll have to lose each other someday. Our paths will take different turns and then there'll be no going back to how we were before.
The promise of forever will remain unfulfilled…
I'm afraid of waking up to no good morning texts from him. To spend days without the possibility of seeing his bunny smile again. I don't want such things to happen. So I would rather stay friends than risk it all.
"I don't want to lose you Jungkookie!!" I cry out shaking my head profusely, my hands covering my eyes to hide the tears that fell without warning "I'm sorry for making you... go through so much... pain" I whimper.
"Yah!! That's enough! You're way too drunk tonight" Mi-sun, my good friend from class, tried to stop me from drinking another bottle of soju "You get drunk every night lately!! How long do you plan to be like this?"
"You know what Mi-sun? Jungkookie... He wouldn't talk to me! He's hurt... I hurt him" as the lump in my throat broadens, my words muffle up "It's all... All because of me... So I have to burn my pain away!!" I drink a mouthful from the bottle.
I haven't seen or talked to Jungkook for a while now. Even at uni, though we share the same classes he wouldn't look my way. All of that ignorance I receive from him hurts a lot.
And I know that I deserve it...
"Aish stop drinking already!!!!" My drinking partner grabs the bottle from me and walks away "What did I get myself into today?!"
"Don't go" I lie my head down on the table, weeping "Come back please... Don't leave me alone..."
♪How can I love the heartbreak, you're the one I love♪
The radio sings out worsening the pain in my heart.
I'm sorry Jungkook-ah... I'm such a bad friend
♪And the hand I used to hold, seemed to vanish in the wind♪
"I... Miss you" I feel my head fall heavier and my eyelids droop down, and I fall asleep with my hand clutching onto my heart "Kookie...
Why did you have to fall in love with a person like me...?
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"Where am..." My eyes open slightly at the loud squeaky noise of shoes against the concrete ground. My body gets rocked upwards adjusting my posture as though someone is carrying me on their back.
"Jungkook?" The fruity scent I'm familiar with tickles my nose as I feel the wind on my face.
"I'm taking you home" the second his voice rings in my ears my heart starts thumping non-stop.
It's yet another dream about him...
"Jungkookie..." the awkwardness doesn't seem to die down even though I'm in my dream, drunk.
"What is it?" I feel his shoulders rise and drop as a long deep sigh leaves his mouth.
"Um... Though this is a dream, I'm happy that you... You're talking to me and taking me home"
"Mmm?"
"It would've been even better if we didn't have to ignore each other in the real world though... "
"Yoo Seol what are you..." He stopped on his tracks, confusion lingering in every word he said.
"I'm sorry about last time" I say, not wasting another second. He stayed quiet, letting me continue.
"I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. And it's right that you chose to not talk to me or meet me for a while. I deserve it! And to tell you the truth, it's not that I'm... I..." My hands grip tighter on his shoulders as I struggle to come clean to him.
"It's okay... Take your time" I hear him whisper to me and resume the walk to my home.
"It's not that I don't like you the same way you do for me. In fact I've known for quite a while that... I like you more than just a friend. But I didn't want to admit those feelings because I was... I was scared" tears sting my eyes as a cold breeze passes by.
"I was worried that someday we'll fall out of love. Though for the sake of old times we try staying in touch, in the long run we'll have to part ways... You mean so much more to me that it gets hard when I don't get to see you around... So I can't even imagine a future without you beside me" My lips began trembling "Even if it means being your friend forever I would happily choose it than lose you in the end" my eyes close on their own as I breath steady and slow to hold back my tears.
"So I... I let the thoughts in my head hold back my feelings for you... I let the fear stop me from loving the only person I cherish the most. I chose to ignore those feelings... and in the end though I didn't want to lose you, I became alone. All because I let... my insecurities..." The words got stuck in my throat and my breathing became heavier. The tears I tried really hard to hold back, gushed out tracing along my cheeks, dampening Jungkook's coat.
"Hey... Are you crying?" He helps me down from his back, turning around to take a look at me "Yoo Seol"
"I'm... I'm sorry I didn't tell you any sooner, but I was afraid that you... You would think that I didn't value you or didn't trust you to let such thoughts of mine spoil everything. But I... I couldn't help it. I Started worrying about all the unnecessary things and ruined... Ruined what we... We" the tightening of my heart worsened. "Don't... Don't leave me... Plea--
Cutting me off, Jungkook quickly pulled me into a hug "It's okay... I'm here... I'm right here"
Feeling the warmth of his hands tightly wrapped around me, I burst into tears. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry for hurting you" I mutter in between "I promise to come talk to you... When I... Wake up from this..."
"It's okay..." He hushed me kissing the top of my head.
