The lost and the hurt (on hiatus until further notice)

Chapter 9

Christians P.O.V.

            We both stop moving, holding eye contact. I try to speak, but nothing comes out. After a minute or two before looking behind me to make sure no one is looking, I hold her wrist tightly in my hand as I drag her far off where no one can or hear us.

             "Let go of me, you asshole!" That's when I snap and slam her into a nearby tree, pushing her shoulders so she can't move. She grabs both my arms in an attempt to move them, but I don't budge.

             "I'm the asshole? Are you kidding me?! We all thought you were dead, you know that?! Oh, wait, YOU DO KNOW THAT. I WAS THERE WHEN THE DOCTOR SAID YOU LOST TOO MUCH BLOOD BY THE TIME YOU GOT THERE. WHAT ABOUT CHARLIE, HUH?! OR MARCUS?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH PAIN YOU CAUSED THEM?!"

             "YOU DON'T GET TO BRING THEM INTO THIS! AND YES, YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE, REMEMBER?! OR MAYBE YOU JUST FORGOT AND TOLD YOURSELF IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT AT ALL! IS THAT IT?!"

             "NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE. EVER SINCE THAT NIGHT, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT NOTHING BUT HOW IT WAS MY FAULT, I BARELY GET ANY SLEEP BECAUSE IT'S ALL I THINK ABOUT! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS KNOWING THAT YOU MADE SOMEONE COMMIT SUICIDE?!"

             "AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT, CHRISTIAN?! YOU'RE THE BULLY WHO DID ALL THOSE THINGS YOU DID! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LIVE WHEN YOU GET REMINDED THAT IT'S YOUR FAULT SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT IS DEAD, OKAY?!" She squeezes her eyes shut as the tears fall from her eyes and into her mask, but I don't let go of her shoulders, squeezing them tighter. "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE BULLYING YOU FOR THINGS THAT CAN'T BE CONTROLLED! SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THEIR PAIN TO JUSTIFY WHAT YOU DID! I KNOW IT WAS WRONG, BUT I COULDN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"

             She's still trying to pull my hands off of her, but her small hands can't pull them off. After a minute of trying, she gives up and drops her hands to her side, and slumps against the tree, so I let go of her. She slides down against the tree until she's on the ground and wraps her arms around her knees. I just stare at her not knowing what to say

             "You have to tell someone. You can't just fake your death and expect people to-" She cuts me off before I can finish.

             "First off, I don't have to do shit, so don't tell me what to do. You're not my boss. Second, I didn't fake my death. I was supposed to be dead, but now I'm here!" She's looking up at me and has tears falling down her face.

             "How?"

             "I don't have to tell you jack shit! And, how would I know? Do you think I wanted to come back? Hell no! I left for a reason."

             "You know what, fine then, if you don't tell them, then I will." I start walking away from her before she gripped my wrist, pulling me back a little. I turn around to face her.

             "If you tell anyone, I'll leave again and you won't see me ever again. Plus, people will probably just think you're crazy, that you're an asshole trying to get under their skin." She's right. Why would anyone believe me if I say she's still alive. She must know what I'm thinking because she lets go of my arm.

             "I'm trusting that you won't tell anyone. I might need your help though."

             "And why should I help you." She glares at me and clenches her fist.

             "Because you're a douche and you feel guilty for what you did. And if you do this, I might forgive you a little." I clench my teeth in annoyance and regret. I hate how she knows that.