The things that make you a murderer

Chapter 1

He. He is the only reason why I am dead. He broke me, ruined my life and made me go crazy. But you are probably thinking who The boy is who I am talking about. Well the boy who I am talking about is clay Benson. He is the most popular boy ,football star and he is also my ex. But I don't want to spoil anything. Let me start at the beginning. It was the summer of 1985. it was my first day at high school. I can exactly remember that I wore a dark green crewneck and dark blue converse shoes. I was on the way to my bike where I saw clay for the first time. He was this gorgeous, tall, blonde boy. Even though I knew him since kindergarten he never looked at me like this day. And he suddenly started waving. I looked behind me because I thought he was waving at someone else but he was really waving at me. That moment I got scared and just went to my bike and drove home. At home I saw my mom putting up a for sale sign in our front yard. I drove over to her and threw my bike on the floor. As I was standing in front of her I asked her what she was doing. She didn't even answer me. She just looked me In the eyes for a second and went on putting up the for sale sign. Fully confused I went inside the house where I saw my dad sitting on the floor against the wall with his head on his knees and crying. Everywhere in the living room were glass shards of broken dishes. And even our book shelf was laying on the ground. I stormed up to ask my sister what was going on. As I arrived in her room she was packing a bag with clothes. totally Confused I asked her what she was doing. She told me that dad and mom had a big fight. I mean it wasn't unusual that my mom and dad were fighting. They are a real dream couple. They met in high school. Then married after college. Got my sister who is artist with her own successful gallery in town. And then they got me. I was always good at school, had friends, and I was pretty. My parents were always proud of me they always told everyone of their perfect little Sophie. They really loved me and my sister. And they really loved eachother. But last year my dad cheated with his receptionist at work. My mom forgave him and didn't divorce him because she didn't want us to live a life where we had to choose between mom and dad. But at this point it would have been better if they had divorced last year. And then I asked her where we are going. And she looked at the floor trying to figure out how to tell me that mom hasn't got a own apartment yet and that they are staying in her friends apartment in new York. And they couldn't take me with them. As she was finished she hugged me goodbye and said to me :"We are going to come back for you soon". And then she left. I looked outside the window and just saw my sister getting in my moms car and them driving away. My mom didn't even care to say goodbye to me. After they left I went into my room. A few times I heard my dad punch against the wall or throw something on the floor. But as I laid on my bed I was slowly realizing that my life is going to change drastically. I will have to move away. And as of now I have to stay alone with my dad. And I am not sure how this will work out. But at the end I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I realized I was too late. I jumped out my bed rushed to get ready. And I drove to school. In the rush I forgot what happened with my mom and my dad yesterday and I ran past the glass shards and the for sale sign like nothing ever happened. And I really thought I was going to make it on time as I heard a pop. I got of my bike looked what happened and I saw that my front wheel popped. At this moment I got so angry I just started cursing out loud. As I stood there cursing and screaming I didn't even notice that clay benson was driving past me. I didn't notice him until he was right behind me. He rolled down his window and asked if I wanted to drive to school with him. I left my bike next to the road and got into his car. He looked at me a few times and the finally said that my pullover was upside down. As I looked down I got red because I really wore my pullover upside down. And i noticed that I looked like a fricking toddler picked my outfit. I took of my pullover without realizing that I wasn't wearing anything under it. And when I say Nothing then I mean nothing. He looked at me for a sec but as he realized I was literally naked he looked in the other direction. And we almost drove into a other car because he got distracted. After I pulled down my pullover we didn't talk for the rest of the way. And as we arrived at school the janitor had already closed the doors so we couldn't get in. so we looked at each other and he asked me if I want to spend the day with him. I was shook. I stuttered :"Yes Bro" As I realized that I just called the handsome boy next to me bro I got red. When we got back in the car I asked him where we were going and he just said :"Trust me soph " And you can believe me I was screaming inside. The boy I might have a crush on just called me soph. But I had to stay cool. After approximately ten minutes we arrived at a small lake. It was called emerald lake because of its stunning green color. We got out of the car and sat on some rocks next to the river and talked . That was the first time I realized that he had beautiful brown eyes. And pearl white teeth. And after we talked we got back to the car. And he let me out at my house. The last thing he said to me was :"See ya soph".I ran upstairs ignoring the mess in the living room, Laid in my bed and thought about him slowly starting to sleep. But before I could fall asleep I got a text from an unknown number It said :"Hey soph wanna go grab some cupcakes? I'll pay". I texted him to come and wait for me in front of my house. I got up, got dressed and went out. There he stood leaning on his red old timer Mercedes he restored himself. He opened the door to the passenger seat and said :"take a seat mi Lady "I hopped in the car and we drove to the cupcake palace. A bakery that made the best fucking cupcakes I have ever tried. We took a seat and started fooling around. As Miss American pie don Mc Leans song started playing he took my hand and pulled me up to dance with him. We danced for at least ten minutes before he paid the check and we decided to leave. It was a bit chilly outside so he gave mis his jacket. As we got to the car and he opened the door for me he just said :"Ahh Fuck it" And he pulled me toward his chest where he kissed me. I felt his muscular hand grabbing my waist and his lips pressing against mine. As he stopped I pulled him inside the car where I pulled of his white shirt and started kissing him even more. As we were making out he took of my dress. And there we were having sex in his car in the back of a bakery. But oh my lord I cant describe how good it felt. And as we were finished I leaned on his chest and he quietly asked me:"Do you have a boyfriend " I answered with a smile on my face:"I don't know you tell me" He gave me a kiss on my forehead. Then we got dressed

and he drove me home.