Earned It

1.

It seems like no matter how hard I try I make mistakes. Then no matter how hard I try to fix them it gets worse. Keeping secrets is a big mistake and you think if you try hard enough it'll stay a secret. My life has become a thousand and one train wrecks because of what used to be the biggest secret I've ever had.

I'm gay. I like boys. Homo sapiens with male genitalia. All of the above applies to my fabulous lifestyle. Of course when I came out two years ago there was an awful chain reaction. I remember my uncle speech less. My aunt immediately saying how she still loves me. My grandma exclaiming how she loves me as well and she's sure my parents would accept me either way.

When I was fourteen my parents died in a car accident. I remember my parents dropping me off at my aunt and uncle's house. My dad was driving my mom to grandma's to tell her in person about her being pregnant. It takes one drunk driver. We didn't even know what gender the baby was.

When I came out to them I felt a weight rise off of my shoulders. The next day my uncle was just gone. My younger cousins, Bella and Elle, spent the entire weekend crying. It hurt to see the twins like that. He still hasn't returned to the family but at this point we no longer care. I think my aunt has gone on a few dates but hasn't found "the one" yet.

I'm seventeen now, a senior in high school. Bella and Elle who are recently sixteen are sophomores and going to the same school as me. I park in the school parking lot lucky to not be late again. Or else I'd be parking in the farthest space from the entrance.

The twins hurried out of the car to meet up with some friends. I open the driver's side door and get out of the car. My friends Nicole, Calum and Damon walk over to me laughing at what I assume would be Calum.

"Tyler. When are we meeting your date to the spring dance?" Nicole asks.

I roll my eyes grinning at her. "There is no date for me. I mean, maybe. But right now I'm pretty much single."

Calum punches my arm and mentions, "When Damon breaks up with that awful girl, Lucifer you can just go with him. Huh Damon?"

"Her name is Luce, could you not talk about my girlfriend that way? Why don't you guys like her?" Damon's girlfriend is probably the most aggravating, annoying, loud-mouthed person I've ever met.

"Honestly, she's a great girl Damon." I lie to him. "You seem..happy with her."

Except he most likely isn't. I spot Luce running towards us practically as soon as we enter the school. Calum, Nicole and I step out of the way as she viciously attacks her miserable boyfriend. She wraps her slutty legs around his waist and he "holds her tight". From the corner of my eye I see Nicole fake-vomiting.

Damon slowly sets her down and we all continue walking. I whisper in Calum's ear, "Now we have to share his misery?"

He chuckles and from then on we try to ignore anything Nicole says.

We stop at my locker just to stand and talk. I plug in ear buds and jam out to some Nicki Minaj. "Itty Bitty Piggy" is the first song that comes to mind helping me block everything else out. I can't hear anyone talking for most of the song but I see people scattering and heading into classrooms meaning the bell rang. I turn off my music and wave bye to Nicole and Calum.

To my left Luce kisses Damon on the cheek and walks to her class too. Ugh, disgusting.

"Really I'm glad I didn't have to hear a word she said." I say to him as we walk to English class together.

"She uh, wants me to take her to the dance.." the tall, muscular, brown-haired boy scratches the back of his head. I stare into those wonderful brown eyes.

I shrug and kind of steam up inside. I nod at him slowly and continue walking down the hall. Nobody is around anymore, all the classroom doors are closed.

"Well, okay. Luce is your girlfriend so..take her." I look at the ground hiding my shame.

Damon sighs lifting my head up with his thumb under my chin. "We both know you don't want that."

I push his thumb away and hold his hand in mine. "Damon it's not like I have a choice. But..this is what you wanted."

I stand on my tip-toes to kiss his soft plump lips. It lasts for a few seconds but feels like a lifetime in heaven. Damon pulls back gently and we both just head into class after I exclusively wipe a tear from my eye.

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that's the first chapter i hope you like <3