The Smart Kid

the War Room

I entered my war room and expected my generals to jump to attention. Much to my surprise, they barely even noticed me. They were gathered around the holotable and looking at a hologram of the Hall of Heroes.
I cleared my throat and was finally noticed. My generals saluted and I now noticed that the kid was running the show.
"My lord...I've reviewed your troop capabilities and found them lacking." The kid said matter of factly. My left eye twitched and I took a deep breath.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Well, your space fleet is outdated, your troops are ill equipped and outnumbered and you seem to have an obsession with skulls."
A few of my generals cast me a look. "They're ornamental."
"Ornamental or not, they reduce movement range and your troops need that if we are going to take the Hall."
I tried to squeeze out a fake smile, but if my generals faces were anything to go by, I wasn't doing a good job.

After an hour of the Kid berating my fashion choices and giving me a depressing assessment of my military capabilities, I had gotten an idea why the heroes might not want him back.

My forehead hit the holotable once, twice, a third time. Apparently, everything I had done for 10,000 years was wrong.
I lifted my head up for a fourth time, but noticed that the Kid had stopped talking.
I looked up at him and he looked at me expectantly. "Are you done?" I asked.
"I am. That was the bad news."
I sat up straight. "You have good news?"
The kid flicked his wrist over the holotable and a hologram of a mighty space vessel appeared. "I took the liberty of designing a few new vessels which should be able to overcome the Hall of Heroes defenses. Also, I doubt they changed the security codes so there's that."
I got up from my chair and walked around the hologram of the ship. Secondary hull armor, 36 torpedo tubes, 20 plasma banks, even 30 fighters. This was a predator.
"I am worried about expenses...how will you pay for this?" The kid asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
"We'll make the sla...prisoners with jobs build them." I said and turned to one of my generals. "Relay the designs to the dockyard..." I leaned in and whispered. "And add a few skulls."

"I also solved your infantry problem."
I frowned at that, I had the best warriors in the multiverse. "What problem?"
"Well, have your men ever not run at the first sight of the heroes?" The kid asked and I looked at my generals, who were suddenly very busy with looking at their screens and tablets.
The kid flicked his wrist again, and a hologram of a mighty battle droid appeared. "Droids don't run, and they have precision, something your men don't have."
My jaw was about to drop, but that isn't a good look for a Conqueror so I stopped myself. "We'll begin production...at this rate, we'll be ready to take the Hall of Heroes by the end of the month..."

I left my war room with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I had apparently wasted TEN FUCKING THOUSAND YEARS...doing the wrong things. On the other hand, things were looking up.
"My lord..." I turned around and found the kid looking up at me.
"Yes?"
He hesitated and a bit of my true personality slipped out. "Spit it out."
"The heroes are my friends..." the kid stated and it took all my might not to burst into laughter. "They may not have come for me, but they don't deserve death."
I rubbed my forehead to hide my rolling eyes. "If we can take them alive, they will be valuable assets. And with the droid's precision, we can take them down without killing them."
I sighed. "Fine...we won't kill them." I lied.