If.

00:02

"Teacher Triiiiice~" Nathaniel's voice snapped me out of my reverie. I shrugged my thoughts. I smiled at this little kid. "Can you teach me on number 3? Nahihiwapan po kashi ako" He said with pouting lips. Oh this qtiepa2tiee over here just melted my heart~ . My face softened and smiled at him brightly. I carefully explained it. Nathaniel is such a cheerful kid and something about him makes me love him more. Maybe because they have the same name. I heaved a deep sigh. I cleared my thoughts and focused on my work.

I am a Pre-school teacher at St. Charles Academy. I continued to pursue this profession because this is the only thing I wanted to do ever since. I love kids and I would love to spend every 24 hours of every day for this.

I went back home after I finished my module. Since my Grandmother's house was too far away from my workplace, she decided to buy me a condo unit. I have refused many times but oh well SHE ALWAYS TREATS ME LIKE A LITTLE KID THAT NEEDS SUPER PROTECTION HOW AWFUL WAS THAT RIGHT? But kidding aside, I really love her so much. She helps me on everything and supports me all the way. Sometimes, she comes over if ever I get sick and or in need of comfort. She makes me feel the love and care of a mother that I never felt a long time. Yes, my mother died when I was just 10. It was a tragic accident and I don't want to talk about it again

I'm hungry. I looked at the clock. It's 6:31 pm. I picked up my phone and called Jenna. She picked it up on the fifth ring.

"Hey my dear sweetie!~ Yes. I can accompany you to dinner. Let's meet at Mystic Grill. Laterss baby!~" Then she hung up.

My lips formed a smile. Napailing na lang ko. Jenna already knew me well. Yes, she's my best friend. Ever since na tumira ako dito, bestfriend ko na siya. I remember when I was unpacking one of my baggages when she suddenly entered my unit. She didn't even knock. Ang kapal ng face diba? HAHAHAHA. Tapos yun, she introduced herself as my neighbor and she even brought pasta,sort of welcoming gift daw. We clicked since then. We always go out together,shopping,movie,eat,eat and eat. She's really funny. Ang daldal niya,hindi ka mababagot pag kasama mo siya. She's always there for me, she's the person who I know will care, whose shoulder I can cry on, who will protect me, who always sticks by my side and who always have my back. She's my sister, my bestfriend, my soul mate, & the best part of me. She's really a good friend and I will trade everything just to not lose her.

 

I got there before 7pm. Mystic Grill was just few blocks away from our building. It was just a short ride. I went inside but she's nowhere to be found. She's still not here. Jenna is a financial executive at E.L Marketing Enterprises. She's a busy person but she still finds time for friends and fun. She's still perhaps finishing some stuffs. I asked the waiter to bring me a glass of cold water. God, why do I feel so exhausted.

30 minutes have passed yet she's still not here. What's going on? I picked up my iphone. I was about to call her again when someone entered the grill. It was her. Thank God, I was worried.  I waved my hand. She saw me and smiled at me oddly. Nagtaka ako, what's wrong? She walked towards our table.

"Trice." Her voice was very serious. Nakakapanibago. "Hey, anong meron? Did something happen?" I asked, sounding worried. I offered her her a seat.

"Nathaniel Ross." That name. I saw a hint of anger in her voice. "You showed me last time his picture." 

I think I know what happened. No, i't can't be. Hindi ako papayag.

"Trice, I saw him. He's part of our meeting a while ago." I was shocked. My heart is beating hard and fast like it would fall out of my ribs.  Parang tinutusok nang paulit-ulit ang puso ko, knowing na nandito siya...he's here. It was the same feeling I felt 2 years ago. I hated him. The 7 months I spent with him was hell. All I felt was pure pain. He doesn't love me, I don't love him either. Kahit kailan hindi kami nagkasundo. We were always fighting.

Two years ago...

Hindi ko na kaya to. Nagawa ko magtiis ng ilang buwan pero... I can't take it any longer. I called my dad. He finally picked up after few rings. "Hey,baby. How's your day?" His voice is so sweet. I sniffed. " Wait. Are you crying?"

"D-Dad" I utter. I can't speak any words. Ang sakit-sakit ng nararamdaman ko. I never felt this before and I don't want to feel this ever again. "Anak, don't cry, what's the problem? Tell me..."  He's worried, I know. "Dad. I need to l-leave..." He held his breath. He was shocked. "What? What do you mean? Sweetie, did something happen? Ssssh... don't cry,baby. Tahan na."

"Dad, I can't take this any longer. Hindi ko siya kayang mahalin. I was hurt so bad. And even if it was mom who made this arrangement, kailangan ko nang sumuko. I tried but it didn't work. I-i'm sorry Dad. I really am sorry."  I cried harder. I know mom will be disappointed. But I need to do this. I know Mom will still be happy with my decision. I won't let this man ruin my life. I won't look back again. Hating him was my choice and leaving him was mine too. The only difference was...I fell for him, I didn't mean to...I didn't force myself...but leaving him? I did.

"God! I just can't believe na nasayang lahat ng pinaghirapan namin. That guy ruined it all. He's so rude. Alam mo bang pinahiya niya yung boss namin sa mga investors?! He said that our company was the worst company ever built and masasayang lang daw ang pera nila sa pipitsugi naming kompanya. Like wth?! We are the most trusted company here in Asia! We make the best products and offers lots of oppurtunities. Subukan niyang magpakita ulit sakin. Punyeta kakalbohin ko siya, chochop-chopin ko siya, kukunin ko lamang-loob at ipapakain sa buwaya! Nakakabanas pagmumuka niya! Argh!" She said running out of breath.

I touched her hand and said "I also long to do that. If I could just slice off his arms and chop off his legs and shove them down his throat...and while he is choking on his very own limbs, I will saw off his head with a toothbrush--making him feel the slow,painful death he deserves." 

Then we burst out laughing. If I could just kill him with my bare hands hahahahaha but of course I won't do that. I'll just let him rot in hell. It seemed like he didn't change at all. Still the arrogant Nathaniel I know. I tried to forget him for good. The wounds was already closed and healed. It hurts to let it go but it will hurt even more if I'll hold on. I gave up everything I had, on something that just wouldn't last. Will he ever find someone to love? All he ever did was to hurt people. He didn't care. People hate him. He has this signature frowning face that even a random person will be afraid of him instantly. The last time I saw him smile when he was with my brother, Tristan. They both share the same hobby. And that is to play guitar and even piano. His smile was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. At kailanman, hindi ko na ulit iyon makikita. 

After we ate dinner, we went straight back home.

Nagising ako mula sa aking pagkakatulog dahil sa ingay na nanggagaling sa labas. What was that? I get up from bed and checked my clock. 8:42 am. God! I was planning to have long sleep since it's Saturday but urghhh! That noise. I already know who it was. 

You just woke me up from my sleep, you asshole. Here comes Beatrice. Humanda ka!

I went outside. There he is, strumming his electric guitar. Ughh! The sound is deafening. He didn't notice my presence. I removed turned off the guitar's speaker. 

He looked at me, pissed. Hah! That's what you get  for ruining my deep sleep. 

"ATE!" His voice grumbled, not sounding impressed at all. "Err. Why so grumpy? I should be the one whose angry here NOT YOU. And in the first place, why are you here? I mean, what happen? Pinatapon ka na ba ni Dad dito dahil sawa na siya sa ugali mo? Or wait! Did you get expelled?! Why?! Did you murder your teacher? Did you put frogs on your seatmate's bag agai-" 

"I want to study here." He said expressionless then he walked out.

"W-wait. WHATT!??" And there. I was left alone...dumfounded...THAT JERK!

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