Sanguine Malediction

Chapter 47

I opened my eyes and rolled over, grabbing my phone from the bedside table and checking the time. It was 4.26pm. I sat upright and jumped out bed, going into the bathroom and running a bath. I had work in two hours, I needed to wash myself before then and get ready. I took off my underwear and stepped into the bath. I lay back and washed the blood from my body, splashing water onto my face to wash away the blood that remained there. I turned off the tap and slipped my body and face underwater. As I closed my eyes, I thought about Leo and Estelle's kiss.

My love for Leo was real and passionate, he had thrown my love on the floor and stood on it, making it bleed. Leo had clearly thought of me as nothing more than a temporary romance and that broke me. He had torn my heart from my chest and given it to Estelle right in front of me. I sat up in the bath and wiped water from my eyes, I started to cry. How could he do that to me? Why would he do that? I just don't understand, I don't understand his reasoning.

Leo wanted to try and explain to me what had happened, to justify what he had done, but I wasn't so easily won over by such a liar. His pathetic attempts to try and correct what he had done wouldn't work on me and he had hurt me too much for me to take him back as my lover. I finished washing my body and got out of the bath, heading into the bedroom to get dressed in spare work clothes.

After I tied my shoelaces, I looked at my reflection one last time. My face was now clean and uninjured, like nothing had every happened. I questioned whether the things I remembered had actually ever happened, because they seemed so surreal. The things I had memories of had been clouded by a new event and every damage that had been done to my body had healed, leaving not even a scar behind as proof of it every happening.

As I entered the doorway into The Harbours ship, I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I didn't want to be here, but I had to be, it 's my job and I can't afford to lose it. Despite all the mental and emotional suffering, all the traumatic experiences and heartbreak - I had to pretend like nothing happened and carry on with my normal side of life. I hung my parka up on the coat rack and headed behind the bar to start my shift.

Rob was still behind the bar, wiping the counter down quickly before he finished. He looked at me and frowned. "Are you okay, Alice?" He asked concerningly. "You look shattered."

No Rob, I'm not okay. Yes Rob, I am shattered. I am completely and utterly exhausted and heart broken. I have experienced so much grief and haven't been offered the chance to take time to grieve before another death has occurred. I miss those who have tragically passed away and despise myself for being the reason as to why they have lost their lives. I have been damaged physically, mentally and emotionally more times than I can count on both hands. I have to come into work and see other humans and put on a happy face every-day - despite everything I haven't had time to process. I have been abducted, tortured and have had loved ones taken away from me by vampires and malum witches. I have been lied to and betrayed by my lover. I am at the centre of a war between supernatural beings I never even thought twice about existing, I am hated and punished everyday just for being me. I am not okay, I am not happy, and I grow to hate myself more and more with each passing day that I am alive.

"Yes Rob, I'm okay and no, I'm not shattered . Thank you for asking." I replied in an enormous fat lie and fake smile.

Rob frowned and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me. "You sure?"

"Yeah, thank you." I fibbed again.

Rob put the cloth underneath the counter and as he walked passed me, he put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me reassuringly. Rob walked out into the back hallway and I continued my way behind the bar counter. I wasn't prepared to throw myself back into the ordinary world and then switch back to the supernatural world constantly, but I lacked options.