Prologue
"It's been a while."
The sun was drifting closer and closer to the horizon as Cassie and I swung on the swing set. Our backpacks and textbooks littered the ground nearby; having came here right after school. The peacefulness of the day made me want to stay forever here, locked in this moment.
But as the last peaks of the sun started to disappear I knew that the moment was over and I would have to face reality. The painful crushing feeling had taken over my heart. My heart was no longer it's own. The feeling controlled it.
Cassie was staring out into the distance. We both were; hoping to find something we knew wasn't there. But it never hurt to look.
I looked down back at my fingers. The scars on the palm of my hand reminded me more of the pain that was yet to come. Shaking my head, I looked back up only to see Cassie staring at me with worry in her eyes. She was the best friend I ever had and ever will have. She cared for me; she genuinely cared for me. And it wasn't the type of care that people would use to get close to someone only to use them in some way or form.
I nodded my head in understanding as we both jumped off the swing set. It was now darker, shadows emerged quietly; they spooked us. We walked closely together not wanting to leave nor separate. But we both knew we had too.
A quiet ten minute walk was followed after we had grabbed our backpacks and textbooks. The weight of my backpack slowed me down to the point where all I could feel was a massive boulder on my shoulders. Next to me, Cassie grunted as her AP Biology textbook slipped out of her hand. Dropping her backpack, she kneeled down and scooped up the now haphazard textbook.
But as soon as she had picked up the textbook, that one moment was over and we were back to reality. Crossing the park, we headed to my house, where Cassie would see me off and then leave to go back to her own place.
There was utter silence, not even a whisper could be heard in the darkness of the night. We slowed down to a stop as both of approached the menacing house I was forced to call home. Cassie smiled at me weakly and I tried to smile back reassuringly, but we both knew my smile was filled with pain and grimace. I clenched my hands and textbooks tightly to my chest and took out my house keys.
"I'll see you tomorrow," my hoarse voice spoke. Cassie nodded lightly before hugging me. She slowly walked down the driveway but she didn't leave before turning around and giving me a small smile that was filled with hope. But I knew, for sure, that my fate wasn't.
Sighing I turned around and slowly inserted the key and turned it. Luck was not on my side as the door had made a large squeaking noise. I winced and prayed that he was somewhere upstairs knocked out cold from all the alcohol.
But I knew it was too good to be true. He never slept during this time of the day. Just as I sighed from relief, a door slammed from somewhere upstairs and I jumped backwards, running into the door stand, while in the process of knocking down my mother's favorite Mulberry jar. I almost fainted as the noise of pounding footsteps could heard.
I dropped to my knees and frantically tried to scramble the broken pieces of the exotic together. I almost cried at the thought of my mother fawning over the vase. But in a way, I was glad it broke. Another thing that I wouldn't have to worry about.
"Ouch," I winced a piece of the glass embedded itself into the palm of my hand. A drip of blood fell onto the hardwood floors. All of a sudden...
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He screeched. Startled, I stood up and whirled around facing the man I am shamed to call my father. He was staring at me with anger clearly evident in his eyes. In his hand rest a Samuel Adams beer bottle. I cringed away from what I knew was to approach me soon.
2 Hours Later
I groaned, dragging myself up the stairs with what remains of my clothes I had. I felt ashamed from all the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse inflicted on me. I felt disgusted. I felt disgusted that a man of such would even dare to behave that way with his own daughter.
You might be wondering what's going on!?
Well it started three years ago, I was fifteen years old when my mother decided that she had enough of my father and filed for divorce. As cliche stories go, my father was devastated. For the first six months all he did was drink. Then he became sober, just for a little while, and in that little while he realized why my mother left. Or at least he thought of the reason as to why my mother left.
It's quite simple actually.
He blamed it on me.
That's when the emotional abuse started. Two months later, he caught me peeking through the remains of my mother's wardrobe, and that is when he slapped it. It was a simple slap, yet it meant so much. From then on, everyday the physical abuse would continue to grow to a bigger extent until the sexual abuse started.
He realized that the only way he could truly hurt me is by sexually abusing me. I valued my virginity. It was the only strong part about me...that he eventually stole from me and then tossed onto the next piece of garbage that came walking down the street.
Ever since then, that horrible night three years ago, I've endured each and every single bit of the pain he inflicted on me.
I'm now seventeen.
And still being abused.
