Death Is Easy, Life Is Hard

30~ Why

I look up at Ethan and he looks back down at me with soft eyes. I sigh and pull away from the hug, handing Hunter to Dalton and kissing his head.

"Not gonna cry, not gonna cry, not gonna cry" I mumble quietly as I try not to think about what it is that I'm about to do

"Hey, it's ok. We'll see them again" He reassures me, and I just nod before we walk over to my family

When we get close enough, I see they're fixing to move Cordell's body.

"Don't touch it" I tell them

"That bullet can be traced back to you" Dad says

"Yes, except I'm not worried. No one in their right mind fucks with me" I shrug

"You want it to be traced to you" Luka says with a little confusion

"I want them to find the bullet, they'll know who it belongs to. Everyone will know who it belongs too, I want it that way. Everything he ever created died with him, just have to wait for it to start" I explain

I hear the engines of the plane start and I sigh.

"We have 5 minutes" I say to all of them

"How long will you guys be gone?" Will asks

"As long as it takes" Isa answers

"Any hints?" Drei asks

"Nothing we can say" Juli answers

She looks at Will before squeezing her eyes shut.

"je t'aime, mais je suis désolé" she tells him before turning to me
(I love you, but I'm sorry)

"je ne peux pas faire ça" she says to me quietly
(I can't do this)

"I'll take care of it, you helped more than needed. And please tell Sage to come over here, I need to talk to him. Thank you" I reply to her

"je serai dans l'avion" she say with a strong voice but I can see the tears in her eyes
(I'll be on the plane)

She walks off quickly, Isa going with her without a word, and I turn back to everyone. Will makes a move to go after her but I speak.

"You can't do that and you know it" I say

"Why now? Why is she just doing this now, and why are you just doing this now?" He asks and I sigh

"I can't answer questions, I simply just need you to trust me" I say

"How is that even fucking possible?! You want us to trust you when you don't even trust us!" He yells, resorting to shouting

I smile at him, and the rest of my family.

"I do trust you guys, more than you know. But what I do, the people I know, that entails things that I don't. And I love you all too much to let anything happen to you because of me" I say, watching all of their eyes soften by the words that come out of my mouth

Hearing footsteps, I look over my shoulder to see Sage walking towards us.

"You're something else, amore" Ethan says, quickly catching on to what I'm doing

"He shouldn't have to be miserable because of me" I say, walking towards Sage to meet him halfway

"Why do I have a feeling that I already know what this is about?" He asks, his arms crossed in front of his chest

"Because you do" I say and he sighs, turning his head to the side

"Just hear me out. You'd be miserable, never being able to see him. I don't want that for you" I continue