In Our Fault - An Alternative Banana Fish Endin

Chapter One - I Can't Be Without You

(This book is in Eiji’s Perspective)

I remember when I was a younger boy, I always asked my mom what love is.

She would always say, “Eiji, love is special, you’ll always be drawn to the person. It almost hurts to be away from the person for too long. You’d almost do anything just for that person. That special, special person would do almost anything for you too. That person would be your world and you would be that person’s world too. ”

And I always asked when I would meet my love, “Eiji, you’ll know when you meet that person.”

I know what she means now, I think I have finally found my love. But, is he my love? How do I know if he’s meant for me? How do I know if it’s a hoax or not? How? How? How do you find one’s soulmate without knowing they are your soulmate?

I don’t know the answer to my questions, but I want to know.

As I was lost in my thoughts Ibe tapped me on the shoulder, “Hey, Eiji, we’re at the airport.”

“Oh, yeah right, sorry Ibe-san,” I said, opening the door and getting out.

I looked around almost hopeful to see Ash, but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I grabbed my suitcase from the trunk as Ibe paid the taxi driver. I got his suitcase out too and shut the trunk as the taxi drove off for the next waiting person.

Ibe looks at me, “Eiji? Are you sure you’ll be alright back in Japan? I would hate to make you sad by separating you from Ash.”

I looked at Ibe and I faked a smile, “I’m fine Ibe-san. Ash and I talked it over, I said I’ll visit in 2 years.”

Ibe nodded solemnly, “Okay, just so you know, you don’t have to go back now. I’ll make sure your parents know why.”

I nodded, grabbing the handle of my suitcase as I walked into the airport. I thought that I had heard tires screeching, but I think I’m just tired. After waiting in a line, we were about to get through security before I heard a familiar voice.

“EIJI!” That loud familiar voice made me turn. It was the voice of someone I trusted a lot, Ash Lynx.

I turned quickly, “Ash? Ash!”

Ash ran towards me, him out of breath, “Eiji...I can't have you go, I don’t think I can stand the thought of you not being safe. Please stay in America Eiji, please. Tell your parents why to tell them that they can visit even with your little sister. I just don’t think I can stand not being near you without knowing your safety.”

I looked at Ash then Ibe, he nodded at me and I dropped my suitcase. I ran into Ash's arms, “I’ll stay Ash, I’ll stay forever.”

I didn’t realize my words at that time. Nothing could last forever. Not the universe. Not the world. Not the people. Not even love. Forever is a dangerous word. It can mean as long as time. It can mean up until death. Or, it can mean nothing. Forever is a strange word. A word that can mean so much to someone, or so little to someone. I hadn’t thought of how to use it. Thinking back on it now makes me realize so much now. The multiple times I had lied to Ash, lied to everyone. I was scared. I wanted to protect them, protect them the way they protected me. But I didn’t want it to end this way, not like this.

Ash and I sat in a taxi, we were going back to the apartment. It was a bit of awkward silence, awkward space between us, an awkward tension. We both knew the consequences of staying with each other. It would tear us apart, hurt us, bring us together, and cause more trouble in the troubled streets of New York. We didn’t quite mind though, we had always been pulled to each other. We both knew nothing could pull us apart, or could something pull us apart.