Eli

Chapter 1

What is the purpose? Why...?

She looked at the elusive sight about her, at tiny trees swaying in the autumn breeze, at bright cold streams and running rivers stretching and expanding on the landscape beneath her, at the open shimmering sea and its colourful surface mirroring a purple-coloured twilight sky with grumpy clouds...She glanced at the sun being just about to set and her heart blazed, enraptured by this glorious landscape. Finally, all the voices, doubts, scares in her head fell silent and she felt peace in her soul.

She closed her eyes, stretched out her arms and breathed in the wild mountain breeze, playing with strands of her wavy brown hair, stroking her cheeks with cold fresh air.

Her stare glazed and she felt first tear running down her cheek.

***

„Where have you been, ,ugly duckling'? "someone said and a torch light appeared in the scene. She halted, being aware that any chance of sneaking quietly into her room had been gone. She turned slowly to face Madame Teller and amused cousin Minnie, telling by the mischievous smile on the girl's face. She glanced in the direction of aunt's terrified stare and realized her dress and boots were covered in mud. She swallowed hard.

"What were you doing so late outside?!" Madame Teller asked her furiously.

JUST A SMALL WALK. She replied in a sign language. Minnie frowned and shook her head in amusement, from which two neatly done braids of bright golden strands were coming.

"Will you ever grow up of this childishness?" Madame Teller said joining her hands in prayer. "Instead of studying etiquette and learning how to become a good wife and a dame, you're fraternizing with the wild beasts in the woods and communicating with them like a savage! When will you finally stop wasting your time? ...Oh Lord, free her from her recklessness..." she looked up to the ceiling and back to her. "Look at yourself. You're 17 years old for god sake! If you keep behaving the way you behave, no one will ever want you...How could you be so selfish! I did everything I could to give you a proper upbringing and this is how you repay me? What would your parents say about that if they were still alive?" she crossed herself, sat down on the chair, trying to calm herself down. Eli came to her and knelt.

"Yeah. What would they think, ,Noselyn'?" Minnie reiterated amusingly with a gesture of a long nose.

I'M SORRY, MADAME TELLER, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE UNGRATEFUL. I JUST LOST TRACK OF THE TIME, Eli tried to apologize, but Madame Teller's glare was merciless and filled with rage. Under her glare, Eli felt as if someone was ripping out her intestines. PLEASE, FORGIVE ME. I'M MUCH OBLIGED THAT YOU ARE KEEPING ME. THERE IS NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME THAT I WOULDN'T BE GRATEFUL FOR. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN-

Madame Teller stopped her with a gesture of her hand. Eli glanced at her aunt's lips to read them. "That is enough, Eli...God is my witness that I tried hard, but this goes beyond my powers... I am sorry about it, but there is no other possibility... You must move out of this house," she declared seriously. And Eli with Minnie opened her mouth in a shock.

PLEASE, MADAME TELLER, I SWEAR IT WON'T HAPPEN – Madame Teller closed her eyes and shook her head in disagreement.

"That is my final decision. Pack your things. Tomorrow at dawn you're going to leave this house," her aunt said and turned back from her, walking to her room. Eli felt sudden surge of despair, and anxiety in her veins. No, no, no, no! She chased her aunt and blocked her path. MADAME TELLER, PLEASE. I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER INTENDED TO DISGRACE YOU, I WOULD DO EVERYTHING –

She tried to change her mind, but madame Teller's expression didn't change, quite the opposite.

"You should have thought about this before you acted so disrespectfully, Eli," she pushed Eli forcefully towards the wall. Eli felt a sharp pain on the top of her head. "I should have gotten rid of you a long time ago. But I always told myself: ,she's grieving; she needs time to recover' and God is my witness that I'm a good and feeling woman but this goes beyond my powers. I will not suffer an ingrate under my roof. You're leaving tomorrow and that is final! Maybe if you get lucky, some of your wild friends will take care of you..." she declared, turned on her heels and started off towards her chamber accompanied by her daughter Minnie.

As soon as they had turned the corner, Eli's knees started shaking under her weight. Slowly, she slid down the wall onto the cold ground.

She remained seated, staring blankly at the spot where her aunt had stood just a moment ago. At the spot where her last piece of hope had evaporated into the air and changed into the utter numbness... She felt how anxiety was taking over. But this time it felt different, more urgent – hollower and starving, as if she would not be able to quell it this time.

The night Eli didn't sleep a wink. She crawled in the corner of her room, pulled knees to her chest, rested her head on forearms and felt burning tears in her eyes.

Why did you leave me, mum? Dad? Why couldn't you take me with you... Everything would be better that way...Everything...

***

Before the dawn came, Eli had been already gone, striding towards the embrace of a forest, carrying all her things in a linen piece of cloth. Once she'd read in one of Madame Teller's book that by making your mind firmly you can enjoy even the least enjoyable moments of your life. Maybe Eli couldn't say it was true, though she felt quite an enlightenment once she reached the forest and left aunt's mansion behind her back.

She was wearing her usual plain cloth dress still covered in mud, brown stockings and leather shoes for the autumn just arrived and had been colder than ever before. She headed towards a place deep in the forest, a place where she went whenever something dark hardened her soul. A place that no one knew about but her. A place where she did not disappoint anybody. A place where no one was lurking behind the corners, whispering, scorning, and giggling at her appearance, existence, being afraid of her because of her difference.

It was a place where she could be alone and didn't need to think about her look, behaviour and what everyone was saying.

And even though she was deaf she found a peaceful silence there.

***