So it's back to school season as you all know so let me tell you what I've been up to since.
First things first, it sucks ass. I'm a senior this year (feels like just yesterday when I was 12 and I made this book ahhhhhh) but everything feels like either I'm in a buffer or everything is moving too fast. The days move by super fast and I got a lot of work to do and it feels like I have either all the time in the world or none at all. Idk if that's normal but ugh.
It might have to do with covid. Literally almost everyone at my school is quarantined but since I live in the south and a bunch of yee yees go to my school, the school isn't shut down and people are too stubborn to get their vaccines. We reinstalled our mask mandate a few weeks ago and now I hear people saying "ugh I can't breathe anymore." Cry about it, Noah.
But, good news, I have recently gotten both doses of the vaccine (Pfizer my beloved.) I was finally able to convince my mom to set up an appointment to get me and my sister our shots and she plans on doing to same as well. But they weren't kidding when they said that the second dose hits you hard lol.
Another interesting thing that's happened recently, I had to block somebody. Let me paint a picture for you, I met this guy last year before the pandemic hit. He's a nice enough guy. He's a grade below me. He recommends me a Frank Zappa song and I listen to it, tell him it was okay, and somehow he becomes interested in me. Fast forward to around May I think, we're all in lockdown and I get a friend request from this guy. I don't think of it much but I accept it. The next day he DMs me a meme and I have a laugh. A few days later I thought it would be rude not to at least send anything else so I send him an Avatar meme and it all snowballs from there.
We start talking over Instagram regularly and it wasn't so bad. We had a few similar interests and some days I had fun talking to him. But this guy has some problems with his mental health and with his home life and he would often bring it up at random. Regardless I try to be supportive and give some good advice. It works to some extent cause he later would get a therapist. The problem comes in when I tell him that we would be separated into A and B groups when school came back and he confessed that he liked me and had plans to confess when we got back. I didn't want to be rude so I let him down easy and I tell him that we can still be friends and talk and he was okay with that. Okay so everything is okay now right? Nope.
Fast forward to May of this year and it's when my school had our prom. Freshman and sophomores can only come if a junior or a senior invites them. The dude asks me if I could bring him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I just told him that we'll wait and see. I knew for a fact that I didn't want to bring him nor would my parents agree to that so I later told him that I couldn't. Guess what he does the next day? He manages to get tickets in because this was his last year at the school (he got accepted into this school for smart kids or something like that.) I act like I was fine with it but I was terrified of seeing him again. I didn't feel comfortable around him and I feel like he actually did that cause he wanted to see me.
So it's the night of the prom and things are super awkward. We both try to make conversation but everything is loud and it's all starting to make me anxious. Whenever I got up and went somewhere, he would get up too and sat down when I sat back down. My friends tried to get me away from him and pulled me to the dance floor but I felt like he was staring at me and the fact that he kept moving around and all the noise made me scared. Baylee then decides we leave early and I say goodbye to the guy. Once I got home, I saw that he put on his Instagram story "ha ha ha, I'm fine" and "what's the point" and then some quote about people leaving with the Nirvana song "I hate myself and I wanna die" playing in the background. Baylee told me not to respond and that I wasn't his therapist. He later told me he had a "depressive episode" after I left and a classmate of mine told me that he wandered outside the prom tent and the police had to go get him.
Now fast forward to September, two weeks ago, this dude is now at his new school and I was content on staying online friends and that's it. He then tells me that he's going back home for the weekend and plans on getting on campus on Friday. I told him they would probably think he's up to something as he responds with "okay." I feel like it's a good time to bring up that he's admitted to me that he sometimes looks at gore pictures on Reddit. So I freak out and I tell the school counselor and she tells me she'll let the staff know. Friday comes, he doesn't show up. I didn't care. I was done with him at this point. I was tired of bending over backwards to make him feel comfortable. I was tired of his pity parties. I tried to be a good friend but he still wanted something more. I know he has mental problems, but he can't expect me to be there all the time. I blocked him the next day.
I feel kinda guilty about it. Again, we shared a lot of the same interests and we had some fun conversations. But I can't deny the fact that he was making me uncomfortable and I had to face the music. I don't wish anything bad on him though, but I think me being out of his life will benefit the both of us in the long run.
Woo, that was a longer rant than I expected. Imma go watch Eurovision now. Byeeee. Get vaccinated
