i was the bad guy in every song,
the one who's always in the wrong,
playing with feelings like a game,
but never even taking the blame.
i'd build your trust just to break it,
argue with you for the sake of it,
make you think you're out of your mind,
but it was i who was blind.
my mind's stomach was never full,
despite having all i dreamt of.
it wasn't until i lost it all
that i finally had enough.
i was crushed by the realization
that i was destroying more than myself.
i lacked self-control and patience;
i had constructed my personal hell.
i had finally been left behind
by the only victim who was kind.
i gaze at my reflection
and see what i have become.
bones rotted by infection,
hand gripping a gun.
straight path from barrel to skull;
bullet flies at the slightest pull.
veins deflate and lungs collapse.
this will be my final relapse.
