Nameless // Van McCann

10. Disappointment

Figuring it was rude not to text back, I typed a quick response so she wouldn't suspect a thing.

Van: *I'm feeling better now. Thanks for checking in. :)*

My anxiety was getting worse. I had no plans on going to bed anytime soon and I wondered if she knew I just lied to her. What if she installed cameras or hearing devices around the flat? I was on high alert, feeling like I was being watched. The only way to get some peace of mind was to search the flat thoroughly.

I started the search in my room where I knew where everything was by heart. I knew all the hidden spots and searched twice but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Bondy's room was off-limits as I didn't feel comfortable going through his stuff. I checked the bathroom and eventually made my way towards the living room where I was flipping pillows over and sifting through the magazines under the table. My mind was engrossed that I didn't notice Bondy coming home until the door closed, causing me to look up. At the time, I was on my hands and knees checking under the couch. Bondy gave me a quizzical look to which I quickly responded.

"Dropped somethin' under the couch," I lied, getting up. "How was your trip?"

"'Twas great! Disposed of a dead body but the Canadians were too nice to say anything. You know how it goes," he said, winking. "But enough about me. How'd your date go?"

Bondy began unloading the stuff he had brought home and I watched as he removed items one by one.

"It was fine. We had Thai for lunch and she wanted to meet Cookie so we took him out for a walk."

I had Bondy's full attention. He was smiling at the fact I brought her over and I knew exactly what he was thinking but that didn't happen.

"Nothing happened between us. After the walk, I was knackered and fell asleep." I began scratching the back of my head, feeling awkward about the last part.

"What do ya mean you fell asleep?" Bondy questioned.

"I dunno...it's like I was drugged or summat. I felt sleepy and ill and lost consciousness. I was out for a few hours and was surprised to see she was still here. She was dead worried. Wasn't sure what happened."

"Who drugged you and how?" he pressed.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I've no idea."

Bondy stayed silent for a while. He's always been suspicious of what I'm up to but I never told him which only made him more curious.

"You're not doing anything illegal, are you?" he asked slowly.

He's probably thinking drugs which is nothing compared to the things I've done. If he knew what I'd done, he'd lose all respect for me. People value privacy and security. The fact that I'm violating both without remorse would rub him the wrong way.

"You already know about my drug use," I answered.

"You don't owe money, do ya? Like no one's out to get you?"

I didn't answer because saying yes or no wouldn't do me any good. If I said yes, that would only worry him and I didn't actually know if someone was out to get me. If I said no, it's another thing he can cross off his list and the amount of excuses I had was dwindling. Bondy was expecting me to say something. He made it very clear that I could come to him for anything and the fact that I didn't take the opportunity upset him. It's like everything he worked so hard for was for nothing. Bondy sighed and spoke again.

"You're not obligated to tell me but why do I feel like someone's gonna come to my door someday with bad news? Just know that I care about you. You're like a brother to me."