'Cause If I'd Lose You Now ~ An Athelnar One Shot

'Cause If I'd Lose You Now

Athelstan's PoV

Athelstan had been back to Kattegat for about three weeks now. Three weeks after a couple of months thinking he would neither see Kattegat nor Ragnar ever again.

One part of his mind, the one that had deeply worried about that while he had been in Wessex, the one that had missed Ragnar Lothbrok with a passion, he would not have deemed possible, was finally at peace.

Yet, there was another part of his mind, one that only made itself known once he had stepped his feet back into Kattegat and had spent the first few days there, that was casting a shadow over his return.

And no, it wasn't what happened in Wessex and the scars he would forever carry on his hands and feet onward ... even though Ragnar still had been right when he had told him 'I know what troubles you, my friend.' because obviously to some degree it did.

After all the events had been ... traumatic and so he was logically still suffering through the after-effects of this particular nightmare.

But what troubled him far greater than even this was what his return to Kattegat meant for Ragnar and his reputation with his men.

It hadn't been long after his return, maybe a couple of hours and maybe not even that, he had to come face to face with the hatred he was met with by the other Vikings.

Now, that he wasn't liked by them or even really trusted wasn't a surprise, after all, they never really did to begin with, with him being a Christian and also former Christian slave of none other than Ragnar Lothbrok ... yet, he couldn't help but feel that this hatred had turned into a much darker hatred the months he had been away.

And in a way, he understood. He wasn't a fool and knew what his case probably looked like to the other Vikings.

Like he had taken his first legit chance in Wessex to run back to his own people to live like a Christian again, like he had taken the first chance he got to abandon Ragnar just like he knew they secretly all wished or at least hoped for he did or would do, so they finally had a reason to get rid of him once and for all.

So the hatred and mistrust were deeper than ever, pair this with the fact that Ragnar still treated him like he had never left (even though left wasn't really the right word, back then it hadn't really been a choice since former King Horik no doubt had told Ragnar without bothering of really checking if he truly was that he had died in that one attack in the woods, leaving Athelstan behind in Wessex alone with no way or means of returning to Kattegat.).

So pair the way his stay in Wessex must falsely look like to the other Vikings with the fact Ragnar still treated him the same way he did before all of this happened and you could see why they probably felt betrayed by their Jarl and now since recently King Ragnar and hated Athelstan with a newfound passion for it.

There were a lot of Vikings after all who looked at Ragnar's and his friendship with disdain from the beginning, even more so now.

And, he had no doubt that some of them, some more than others, were out for blood now. Specifically, for his blood.

It remained to be seen if this rift between the Vikings and him could ever be mended. Or if he might have to pay for it in blood someday after all.

And whilst he didn't really care what happened to him, he cared the more about Ragnar and specifically what his own return would mean for the Viking's future as the new king.

After all, he had seen once what could happen if a king or jarl lost the trust and love of his people. He really did not want to see Ragnar meeting a similar fate as Jarl Haraldson, just because he so happened to know a former Christian monk called Athelstan.