Winter's Sleep (A RusGer Fanfiction)

Chapter IV: Youth

They said that a dream was the manifestation of what you sought after, of what you wished to have or to be, of what your heart desperately wanted.

When Germany opened his eyes to the sea of flowers he had never seen before, he immediately knew that this dream was not going to be a pretty dream, nor would it be the manifestation of what he truly wanted.

He sat amidst the swaying flowers, bare legs submerged in the shallow water that was the ground, a finger gingerly touched the petals of the flowers that brushed against him, a pair of golden eyes narrowed at the burning sensation on his skin. Those five-petaled flowers, four of them trapped the white light within them while the remaining one reflected the sky far above him.

It should be a pretty sight, it was a pretty sight, but those flowers reminded him of the flower in East's hands before the casket where he lay still was closed.

Perhaps that was the start of his hatred toward flowers. That, and the fact that those flowers took East away from him with the stupid, folklore-ish disease.

Was it his turn next?

A hand plucked the flowers, eyes staring at it with slight disdain before he plucked another one. Again and again, over and over, until there was enough distance between him and those flowers. His skin no longer burned, no longer itched at the touch of those flowers and he stared at his reflection on the clear water.

A frown marred his face, subtly reminding him of how East used to frown playfully at him and he slapped the water at the remembrance. It created a distorted reflection of his face and the sound of trickling water tore the silence of the still world.

Germany dragged his eyes to the flowers he plucked, resting on his laps with half of the petals dipped in the shallow water. He blinked slowly. Once, twice, thrice, before his hands lifted them, fingers twisting the thin, brittle-looking stem and turned them into a flower crown.

For East, he thought to himself, because it did not suit him.

And yes, if a dream was the manifestation of what he really wanted, then East should be here. It would be more bearable if he was here because at least he would have someone to talk to until he woke up. Germany also would not have to look at those flowers with such disdain it certainly did not deserve.

Flowers never wrong, Germany remembered East once said that to him while teaching him how to make a bouquet. They never wrong because they were just trying to live. Even the wild ivy creeping on a wall would yield beautiful flowers if left to grow.

But what about those petals and flowers you coughed out? Did you forgive them for taking you away?

Because he did not. And now that Germany coughed petals too, he loathed them even more.

Tired eyes gazed at the flower crown that floated away from him. If this dream was just trying to remind him of his hatred toward the flowers and his regret and guilt for East's death, then he wanted this dream to end. It was enough for him to handle the flowers on daily basis, to manage the flower shop, to pick up the flowers on his own.

He did not need more reminders to all that was better left forgotten.

(Because he needed and wanted to move on.)

It was enough; all of these flowers, all of the guilt and regret and longing. He had enough of it.

"Why can't we love someone in peace?" he asked aloud to no one.

What did he and East do wrong to deserve such a disease for just trying to love someone? Archon knew, but they refused to tell him. Maybe it was fate.