The teacher // Miss Paulson

This can't be it // Chapter 48

You wake up a little later than usual, because you stayed at Lana's until like 2 AM. When you grab your phone you see that Sarah sent you a message yesterday and a screenshot of Bradley's story on instagram. It was of the video he took during the game yesterday and a picture of you, Tara and Lana.

Sarah: Good to see that you're already having fun without me.

(y/n): I would rather laugh a little than cry in front of everybody at the dinner. 

(y/n): If you don't have anything nice to say or something that could help our relationship then pls don't text me anymore.

You sigh as you put your phone down. You never thought you'd be in this situation with Sarah, especially after the nice vacation you had together. Maybe she just didn't love you as much anymore. Maybe you're just not enough. You didn't want to be in this mindset, but you can't help it. You hadn't thought like this in a while. It felt like your depression was slowly creeping up on you again. The feeling of not being enough, of hating yourself and feeling lonely. To you there's nothing worse than feeling lonely eventhough you're surrounded by people. You might just have to deal with the fact that you're not enough for Sarah anymore...

Sarah's POV:

I'm sitting on Amanda's couch, talking about the fight I had with (y/n) yesterday. "I don't know what to do anymore. I love her so much, but I don't think she loves me as much as she used to." I say looking down. "You know I love you and I don't want to offend you, but I kinda get where (y/n) is coming from. Just hear me out okay." Amanda says and I look up at her and nod for her to continue talking. "You're right Tara might not be her daughter, but she has taken care of Tara since she was born. She's not used to anything else. All she has known from then on was to take care of Tara and make sure she had a childhood that (y/n) probably dreamed of. She just wants to make sure that Tara is loved and taken care of, because she doesn't want Tara to grow up like her. You might not know what it feels like to have a child, but believe me you'd do anything for them. Also it's just complete bullshit that (y/n) doesn't love you as much anymore. That girl is crazy in love with you. Yes she might work a lot and raise her little sister, but she always makes sure to see you everyday. Let me tell you raising a child and working is very exhausting. Somehow she still makes sure to spend time with you, because she loves you." Amanda says. "Okay I understand that I've been unreasonable about that, but what about the new girl from work." I say. "Sarah (y/n) is allowed to have friends to ya know. Not just you. She didn't have any problem with you having friends. She even got along great with us at my party, until Cherry came along. And I know what you're about to say. You cheating on her with Cherry happened a long time ago and she forgave you, but you still broke her trust that day. She probably thought you were the only one who wouldn't hurt her, but you did. And then she saw you kind of pick Cherry's side at the party and that must have felt like a small betrayal again. I understand that she's getting tired of you being jealous of her being close with someone in a friendly way, because she has never broken your trust. You haven't felt as hurt and lonely as she did. So just try to think from her perspective once instead of your own, because she does the same thing for you. She always tries to make you feel better... maybe you should do that for her as well from now on." Amanda says and I start crying. "It's okay come here. You'll get back together again. Just apologize to her and say how much she means to you." Amanda says hugging me. "I don't think that will help. She said that if she found out that I met up with Cherry again our relationship would be over." I say inbetween sniffles. "You met up with her, didn't you?" Amanda asks a little dissapointed and I nod. "Did you guys have sex?" Amanda asks. "No. I invited her over. We talked, drank a little to much and then she kissed me, but I stopped her." I say. "You have to be honest with her and tell her." Amanda says. "I know, but I just don't want to hurt her again." I reply. "Maybe you should've thought about that before you invited Cherry over." Amanda says and I know she's right, but I don't want to loose (y/n). She didn't deserve any of this...