I Guess I'm in Love | Ryuryeong

27

That day, Ryujin didn't went back to her cousin Rosé's house. Lia told her that there was something that Chaeryeong left for her before leaving. Ryujin sighed as she went to the apartment. She went inside, she grabbed the spare key she had on her pocket and unlocked the door. She looked around and it was really clean, some of her clothes that she usually use there were folded nicely and were placed at the couch. She looked at the dining room and there was a note.

" 9/23

hi ryujin, if you see this i'm probably not here, i went home to my parents but do feel yourself at home here. you can stay at my room if you want or if you need to, just don't forget to turn off the switch of the lights when you're not around, also the air conditioner. don't worry, i'll be back soon. take care of yourself okay?

-ryeongie"

Ryujin puts the note back down and then went to the living room. She sat down and then thought about something. She thought about those times when Chaeryeong took care of her and how she herself took care of Chaeryeong before. How Chaeryeong would always cook breakfast for them and then would invite her for dinner. Sometime she should even let her stay for the night. Ryujin can't think properly sometimes when Chaeryeong randomly holds her hand whenever Chaeryeong would want the girl to go with her.

She then stood up from the couch and went towards Chaeryeong's room, she took a deep breathe and then opened the door slowly, flashbacks came back to her head as she glanced at the room.

"Ryeong, I can't sleep beside you, we're going to fall"

"Then just hug me then" Chaeryeong said and pouted. Ryujin gave in and laid down beside the younger, as said, she hugged Chaeryeong by the waist.

"Goodnight Ryuddaeng"

"G-goodnight"

Ryujin then went towards the study table, remembering that Yeji and Lia said that there were letters left for her there. One by one she read them quietly.

(this will take a little bit long)

"I feel lucky meeting you ryujin, thank you for everything you did for me when i was sad, thank you for making me laugh and smile like an idiot unconsciously. thank you for the relationship we had last time so far, you really made me alive. i never regret meeting you or loving you, you're the best person i've ever met. i don't know how to describe you, just.. thank you  -ryeong"

"when i first met you, i had no idea i was gonna get this attached. as days went by, i could feel myself slowly falling in love with you, i can't stop thinking about you. your smile literally changed my whole day. just know that i will never let go of you and my feelings will never disappear.   -ryeong"

"you'll always be my favorite person. always remember that, i may not seem like the perfect person for you, but i will do my best and be the right person for you, i'll be perfect in my loyalty towards you.  -ryeong"

"at the end of the day, i want it to be you and me. i want you late nights and early mornings. i want your good days and bad ones. i want you when you're young and i want you when you're old, i want you forever.  -ryeong"

"thank you for coming into my life. thank you for actually making me smile. thank you for giving me motivation to wake up. thank you for making everything so good when i'm around you.   -ryeong"

"no matter what happens with this story of you and i, i hope you know that there wasn't a day that i didn't choose you. there was never a minute when you were a second choice or in second place. never. i will love you til the end.  -ryeong"

"i didn't realize how in love i was with you until i found myself staying up til five in the morning, laying in bed crying my eyes out. i thought... i was going to lose you.   -ryeong"

"ryujin, if we suddenly become strangers... i will wait for you to talk to me again, be as close as we used to be before. the amount of love i have for you will never change because in my heart, i know that you're the one for me. i will still love you like the first day we met each other, i miss you so much already  ryuddaeng.  -ryeong"

"I love you ryujin, but that doesn't mean you are obligated to love me back. i'm not asking for something in return, it's fine if you don't feel the same way, just let me adore you and loving you is enough. i don't want to reach the point that you have to leave just because of me having feelings for you. i want you to stay with me, even if not as a lover, even just as your friend. i'm so in love with you, it's not even funny anymore. like i'm emotionally attached, but we're so young. i know you're my person so please... stay.  - ryeong"

This was what Chaeyeon meant...

Ryujin then saw one that looks like it was written recently.

"its been weeks since we last seen each other ryujin, i don't know why you still won't message me. did i do something wrong to make you feel like that and make you leave? if that's the case, then, i'll distance myself from you even though it hurts. don't worry about me, i'll be fine, also, don't find for me, i'll just feel miserable if i see you. please take care of yourself when i'm not around, i know you can be a handful at times but don't forget to be friendly okay? i told heejin unnie to keep an eye on you just in case. i also told Lia unnie, Yuna, Yeji unnie to not get mad at you, especially Lia unnie, she get's overprotective sometimes hehe. even though we don't see each other anymore, please do well in school, i still want to know that you passed those tests that you told me you wanted to. you're really smart so i'm sure you'll pass. i miss you so much already ryuddaeng, i hope i could at least hug you for the last time but you would feel uncomfortable, knowing that i have feelings for you. just.... take care of yourself okay? i don't want to hear that you got hurt again, its painful to see you in wounds and see you crying. i'll be fine if you don't love me back, but, always remember, that i love you so much, take care ryujin-ah..... love, ryeongie"

A tear escaped from Ryujin's eye, she suddenly felt pain in her heart. She couldn't understand it anymore, what she was feeling....

"Chaeryeong...." she muttered and started crying her eyes out. She stayed there all night, in Chaeryeong's room feeling guilt, sadness and mixed feelings for the younger girl. 

"You're so stupid Ryujin, if you weren't so blind then she wouldn't have gone through this" Ryujin blamed herself, repeatedly punching her hand through the wall. Slowly, blood was stained on the wall and dripped on the floor.

Ryujin didn't noticed that someone went inside, all she could see was blurry because of crying.

"Ryujin, Ryujin, hey" she heard, she then wiped off her tears on her eyes and squinted.

"Chaeryeong?" Ryujin called out softly

"I-I'm not Chaeryeong, I'm her older sister" Chaeyeon said and then stood up. Sakura then was the one who helped Ryujin to get off from the floor and sit on the chair.

"What were you doing here?" Chaeyeon asked as she wraps the bandage around Ryujin's fist. Ryujin remembered how Chaeryeong used to do that to her, taking care of her wounds.

"I was worried..... Yeji unnie told me that Chaeryeong left something here for me" Ryujin said, staring at the study table where the letters were. Chaeyeon looked at it and she sighed.

"So... you read it all?" Chaeryeong asked and Ryujin nodded slowly.

"Come on you two, time for dinner, then we'll go back to Chaeryeong, okay love?" Sakura said and kissed Chaeyeon's head. Chaeyeon nodded slowly.

"Come on, you should eat" Chaeyeon said and stood up from the chair. Ryujin just followed and ate dinner with them.

"Yeji told me that its better if you're the one who would talk it out to Chaeryeong." Chaeyeon said

"Yes... unnie" Ryujin replied

"I'm disappointed in you to be honest, I want to blame you for everything but as I promised to Chaeryeong, I would never blame you and hurt you" Chaeyeon said as she continued to eat.

"I'm sorry unnie" Ryujin said

"You shouldn't be saying sorry to me, you should say sorry to Chaeryeong" Chaeyeon said and again Ryujin just nodded