I didn't know

9

George POV
Currently I am standing under the shower in Clays bathroom. I had taken off my bandages to shower since Clay said he wanted to redo them afterwards.

To be honest I was really taken aback by Clays little speech earlier. No one has ever said something like that to me. When he asked me if I was up to try and go through my problems with him I somehow didn't even hesitate that long.

I mean it's Clay. The Clay that I've hated for so long and the Clay that's never been nice to me before. But for some reason I felt some sort of honesty and safety when talking to him. I mean it's not like anything could get worse right?

There is one thing from Clays speech that hasn't left my mind though. "You are the most gorgeous person I've ever seen George. And you don't see that. There is one thing missing that makes you perfect George you know what that is? It's you realizing how beautiful and strong you are."
He said I was gorgeous. He said I was beautiful.

His words didn't leave my mind. The thought of Clay thinking I was beautiful gave me butterflies. And honestly I didn't know why. I didn't like dream. He didn't like me. He is helping me because he's just being friendly. That's what friends do. Well if you can even consider us as friends.

As I stepped out of the shower I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt insecure. I felt ugly. I felt disgusted of myself. I looked down at myself and slightly squeezed the fat on my lower stomach between my thumb and my pointer finger. Looking at the amount of fat (that for the majority of people might not seem a lot at all) and letting out a disappointed sigh.

I was never happy with the way I looked. Especially with my weight and the fat on my body. That's also a reason why I was so startled about Clay saying he thinks I'm "gorgeous"

To be honest, i don't really think he said that cause he thinks that I am gorgeous but more out of pity. I mean look at me. What is there to like? I'm small, bags under my eyes and pale looking skin. There are bruises all over my body and both of my arms are covered in cuts. Not even my eyes are special since they're a basic plain brown color. Why did he say I'm beautiful when it's so obvious that I'm not?

I decided to get out of the bathroom.
I wrapped a towel around my body since I didn't want to just have it wrapped around my waist and left the bathroom. Well that's when I remembered I didn't even have clothes. Clay wasn't in his room since he said he was going to make breakfast.

I didn't want to go downstairs dressed like that - if having a towel wrapped around your body even counts as being dressed- but I couldn't just grab some clothes out of his closet without asking. I have no choice other than going down and asking him.

I opened the door to his room making my way downstairs when a delicious smelling scent hit me like a wall. Pancakes. Definitely.
My mouth immediately started to water and I did feel kinda guilty about allowing me to be that hungry. But I decided to ignore these thoughts for once. I honestly can't remember when it was the last time I had a proper meal let alone someone cooking it for me.

I went downstairs and into the direction the smell came from. As I approached the kitchen was stunned of how clean and big it was. White cabinets, marble flooring and marble counters. High ceiling and a beautiful chandelier hanging from it. This family truly owns a lot of money.

As I kept looking around the kitchen in amazement I didn't even notice Clay turning around from the stove and looking at me. When I met his eyes I almost dropped my towel because of the sudden eye contact with the blonde.

'Do you need something?' he said, voice calm and welcoming. It felt soothing listening to him and not having him insulting you. Maybe Clay wasn't so bad after all. 'George?' he asked again and I got snapped out of my thoughts. 'Oh uh sorry zoned out uhm I came here to uh ask for clothes I guess. I realized I don't have any and I didn't want to take some out of your closet without permission you know' I said feeling nervous for some reason.