My Fucking Freaky life!

disappointed of my life...

Hey dear diarie, well I feel now fucking bad. I just want to cut myself, you know when the person who brought you to this life says " I wish I had another son" says that? I'm on the ground, I wish I could die without the pain. I tried to make it right but she makes me every single day sad, angry. I just want to get 18th and leave her for my hole life. I will block her everywhere. Her brother says, one day I will make you in to disabled person *and I don't care if your mother hates me* and she says * I won't be mad, he needs this* ok then I'm end me by myself and everyone would be happy only person who I trust, love and respect is my grandma. I can say to her thank you that you was always stayed on my side, you don't say to me it's your problem so get out of it. You always say we will found a way to get you out of here. I need love I don't have father sense I was born, I have my mother but I would take my grandmother between my mother....I'm writing this and I'm crying, you now when I was 13 years old she said she tried to *pregnancy demolition* but it didn't worked. I'm damaged fuck my fuck my life kill me.