Speed 2

2

TW: SH (SELF HARM)

I wake up at 5am, with a sick feeling in my stomach. A feeling of worry, fear, other things. I wish Cray were a better person. He'd help me with this feeling. Then again he's a bastard, an ugly one too. He deserved the death he got. Or did he? He apologized to me right on spot and did tell me that he was controlled. What if I just killed an innocent guy? No, what if I just killed my dad, the man I thought died when I was young. What if I could've helped him. I guess I'm back where I started. Those scars I gave myself were because I thought I shouldn't have killed him. I should restart. My arms are looking boring. I sneak into the kitchen and grab a blade and run back into my room. I'm currently holding the blade to my wrist. Should I? Is this a bad idea? I feel like it is but then again, I should repay for what I did to my dad. He was like the winter soldier. Controlled. Didn't mean for any harm to be done. A nice guy. It just wasn't hydra who kidnapped my dad. I push the knife through my skin.

AFTER BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA EXPLAIN WHAT SHE DID BECAUSE I'M NOT COMFORTABLE DOING THAT

I wrapped my wrists with some wraps. I only rigged into to my wrists 3 times on both wrists so it wasn't too much. After I clean the mess, I lay in bed and slowly start crying. What have I done?! Why did I do this to myself? I should have never put myself through this. How can I make the pain go away?! I feel.. alone. I need someone. I have Holly but I'm scared she'll go off saying I'm weird or something. I look out my window in my room and see- wait. Is that Wade? I suit up and run over to him.

"Oh hey kid. Were you watching me or did you just run into me?" He asks.

I take off my mask.  "Wade I did something.  I did something so bad!"

"Calm down.  I'm sure it wasn't too bad.  I mean, I've killed countless people.  What you did couldn't be as bad as the things that I-"

I pulled up my sleeves and revealed the wraps.  You could see blood soaking into them.

"Oh my god.  Ivy!"

"I know it's bad! I don't know happened.  I got a blade and I just went all in! It wasn't like me!"

"Ivy, you can't do this to yourself!"

"I know! I won't do it ever again! I swear!"

"Good!" We had a little quiet time until he asked "Why did you come to me? I'm a random nobody."

"I didn't have anyone.  And you were the same person that helped me not jump off that building.  Did you know that I can't die?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, as long as I have this stone in me, nothings gonna kill me."

"That's good, but that's not an excuse to do that to yourself.  Why did you?"

"Because I blamed myself for my fathers death.  I killed him, he was being controlled and I could've helped him! But I killed him.  It's all my fault!"

"I I it's not your fault."

"Did you just call me.. I I?" I ask.

"Yeah, short for Ivy."

"No, there's nothing short for Ivy.  It's just Ivy."

"How about Vee?"

"Sure.  Vee is.. cute."

"Cool Vee it is.  Vee, it is not your fault.  You did what first came to your head.  You were angry.  You lost 3 friends in the same day.  You wanted to.. to hurt him the way he hurt you.  It was completely normal."

I lay on his shoulder, watching the sunrise with him. "Thanks." After a while, my eyes get tired and they slowly start closing.

I wake up in bed, remembering the talk Wade and I had. Shit, I'm still in my speed clothes. I quickly speed into my pjs and sit in bed thinking about our talk.

"Good morning- oh you're awake." Mr Stark said, walking in my room.

"Oh hey." I said.

"Look, there's some trouble going around the city, we might be out of or a while but Peter will be here. Hopefully we see Spider-Man or Miss Speedy there. Then again, we can handle it ourselves."

"Ok, we'll thanks for telling me."

He smiled and closed the door. I roll up my sleeves and take off the wraps. They are slightly bleed so I decided to put new wraps on them and then I put a sweater on to cover my wrists.

"Hey Pete" I said, walking out of my room.

"Hey Ivy, uh I have a question." He walked up to me.

"Sure what's up?"

"Well.. I have a boyfriend.."

I gasp.

"And if I brought him over I'm asking you not to tell anyone he was here. I made sure JARVIS would delete any video recording of him being here."

"Of course I won't tell anyone. But.."

"But what??"

"I was thinking we should go over to see what's going on with everyone else. You know, suit up?"

"No! Maybe that's them testing us. Maybe they thought we were acting weird Iast night at dinner."

"Ok.. you have a point I guess."

"I know I do."