Short Stories & Such

Sometimes I Get So Sad

"Allie" I hear my name called across the room. I fold back the corner of the page im on and shut the book. Unlike in the movies, the radio blasting out the latest Katy Perry song and the kids laughing and throwing the ball against the wall doesn't cease as I pad across the brightly colored carpet to the nurses station.

"Its time for you to see the doctor hunny" Mrs. Sky says to me, her soft brown eyes warm and welcoming, despite where we are. I give her a small nod and clutch the book to my chest as she begins to lead me down the maze that is West Chester Physciatric Hospital. After turning down hall after hall and riding an elevator, Mrs. Sky and I are standing in front of a large wooden door. She unlocks the door and holds her hand out for me to go first.

I step in and look around. There's a bed and cabinets, I suspect full of medical tools like you'd see at a normal doctors office. If only this was a normal doctors visit.

"You can sit on the bed hunny. The doctor will be in here in a minute." She says before giving me a small smile and walking out, closing the door behind her. I stand there for a second, mentally debating whether or not I should sit or stay standing. I finally decide to sit, at least then I would feel a bit more normal.

I sit on the edge of the bed and let my legs dangle. I hum a song to myself quietly until the door suddenly swings open, to reveal an elderly man, no younger than 60 I'd say. He has a small white beard and eyes that are hard but soft at the same time.

"Good morning young lady" he says to me politely as he shuts the door behind him and walks a little bit closer. "Now why is such a beautiful young lady like yourself in a place like this?" He asks me as he moves a rolly chair up near the bed that I sit on. I swing my legs up onto the bed with me and fold them underneath me. "My family thinks I'm depressed" I tell him.

He lifts his eyebrows. "Is that so?" I nod my head. "And why would they think that?" He asks. I shrug. "They tell me its because I don't have any friends and I spend all of my time in my room and away from everyone." He nods and starts scribbling away on a pad that I didn't even notice he had. "Now tell me Allie, how's your appetite?" He quizzes me. I shrug again. "Its okay I guess. The only meal I really eat is lunch." He shakes his head.

"What about sleep? Too much, too little?"

"I tend to sleep a lot or not at all."

"Okay. How about school? How are your grades?"

"They're not very good. I barely even pass"

He asks me a few more questions, like if how irritable I am usually, if I feel hopeless, exc. When he's done asking questions, he scribbles a little more before finally putting the pen down and looking at me. "Allie, would you say you are depressed?" He asks me.

I sit there for a second. "I don't think I'm depressed. I'm just sad." I tell him. He takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. "Would you explain why you think that please?" He asks me.

"Well I mean like, I can be happy. I can smile and laugh and have fun." I tell him as I trace the pattern on my book. "But..?" He urges me on. "But sometimes when I'm by myself, I forget how to feel. I cry a lot, most of the time over something stupid or even nothing at all. I always find myself missing something, but I'm not sure what it is. I don't like looking in mirrors, because I hate what I see." I tell him and I watch his eyes sparkle a little, and I notice a tear fall down. "But I'm not depressed" I say quickly. "I'm just a little sad is all"

He wipes his eyes and looks at me. "Allie.." he sighs. I freeze. "Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to say that?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No ma'am, I'm very glad you said it actually. But Allie.. I'm afraid you have depression. Severe depression at that." He tells me. I open my mouth to refuse but he cuts me off.

"Whether you believe it or not, you have it dear. And we need to change it. Your to young, to pretty to be depressed. I'm gonna put you in some medicine and keep you here for a little while and see how you do on it okay?" He asks me. I nod my head, trying hard to fight back the tears. I can't be depressed. I can't be.

"Okay. Now why don't you go ahead and go back out to the common room" he says and I nod again before hurrying over to the door. Just as I go to leave he stops me. "Allie" he calls after me. I turn around and face him. "I'm gonna tell you something. Happiness, its a choice. You can choose to sit in the corner and watch everyone else make memories, or you can make some to. I sincerely hope that you'll never have to carry more of a weight than you can hold in life" he says. I stare at him blankly before finally nodding for a umpteenth time. I pull open the door and disappear through it before he can say anything else to me.