Short Stories & Such

"If you love something, let it go"

"Why?" She asks, her face hard as stone. I look down at her and when her eyes meet mine, they flicker away fast. But not fast enough. I saw it. I saw the light that was once there, that used to shine so bright, the light that made her the only girl who stood out to me in the first place. I saw it die.

"What do you mean?" I ask though I know exactly what she means. I just need to hear her voice break, I need some emotion. I don't like this Emma, the one who's cold as ice. I haven't been unlucky enough to have her look at me this way in years, and now that she is once again.. Its killing me.

"You know exactly what I fucking mean Jake." She says, her voice still hard. "Why?" She repeats. "Why after all this time, after all the shit we've been through, through all the tears, the laughs, the pain, why now? Why when I need you the most?" She asks and this time she looks in my eyes and I see them. The walls, they're up high. To damn high.

"Because Emma. Its just time to give up" I say simply and she turns and walks along the porch, towards the chairs lounging around. "I mean we're only 17. What's the chances of us really ending up together and actually lasting" I say as I follow her a short ways until she takes a seat in a chair and puts her head in her hands. I pull up a chair near her and go to comfort her, until I remember why I'm here.

"Emma.. Look. I really love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anything before." I tell her and I watch her shake her head. "Then why leave me?" She asks, her voice strained. I swallow the lump in my throat and try and fight back the tears. "Have you heard that quote? 'If you love something, let it go. If it was really yours, it'll come ba-"

"Bullshit" she says.

"What?" I ask and she stands up and looks me dead in the eyes, her face twisted in anger but her eyes streaming tears.

"Bullshit" she practically yells at me. "If you really love something, your instinct is to hold on to it, cherish it, never ever let it go. When you let it go, who's to say it'll come back? And then you assume it was never yours? Fuck no. It WAS yours. But you were a dumbass and had to let it go. So if you really loved me, you wouldn't be letting me go. Because I won't come crawling back to you for your mistake." She yells.

As I hold back the tears that are blurring up my vision, I sit there speechless. She stays standing in front of me, the tears falling from those beautiful bright green eyes. When I don't say anything, I see her shoulders fall. "Fine. Leave. I'm not gonna force you to be in my life if you don't want to be in it Jake." She says and I almost break. I do want to be yours. I want to be nothing more than yours Emma. But I can't.

"I just want you to remember something" she says. I look up at her, and finally, I see it. The hurt. The pain. Everything I promised I would never do to her. She's breaking. And its all my fault.

"Anything" I tell her and she crosses her arms and looks away.

"Don't forget about me. Don't forget what we had. If we really don't end up together in the future, tell your kids and grandkids about me. Tell them I love them and I want them to be happy. And I hope in five years, when your sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for the date you've been looking forward to all week, I hope you see something that reminds you of me. I hope you wonder how I am, if im in love, if im heartbroken, if im happy being by myself. if I still love fries dipped in ice cream more than life itself, or if I still read and draw like I used to when I get sad." She says and that's when the first tear escapes.

It runs down my cheek and I furiously try to wipe it away before she notices, but I'm to late. She looks at me with those gorgeous green eyes, usually so full of life and love but now so full of hurt, and gives me a small smile. "Dont forget how you were my first. At almost everything. From kiss, to date, to making love, to bringing me flowers and so much more. Because I won't. And I will never stop loving you. When things get bad or to much to handle, and the rain just won't quit.. I want you to know someone loves you. More than life itself."

And with that, she gives me a soft kiss on the cheek, walks across the porch, and disappears through the front door.

Not long after that I left town and disappeared. That was the last time I saw that beautiful masterpiece people call a woman. She had the soul of a gypsy, the mind of a 20 something year old, and the heart of a child. She always wore black, yet she had the most colorful mind, and I never understood why. But maybe that's the point. Maybe she loved mysteries so much.. She became one.